Judge — August 14, 1920 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Pure English appar lady of refinement fall the hall arks of the clect. Her clothing was faultless and there was a look of keen intellectuality in her face. With her was a beautiful little boy—not exactly a Little Lord Fauntleroy, but a little chap with big eves and a wealth of tousled hair. I noticed them, the lady for her dig. nified bearing and the boy for his bright face, as T sat down just in front of them on the suburban train. Pretty soon I heard the little boy say, evidently refer ring to me “Ain't that a funny hat that man kas ? Ain't it an old hat, Mom?” a funny looking man, Mom? Ain't he No reply. “Ain't it funny when a man has got a boil on the back of his k, Mom, ain't ” (We happened to have one thet morning.) No reply “ Ain't there nothing todo about boilson the back of the neck, Mom, ain’t there?” “Shut up!” came the voice of the lady “If you use that word ‘ain’t’ again, I am going to soak you on the bugle, now take to tell it from me. How often ha you rot to use that word York Mail. Did Not Want to Waste ‘Em—The fishing season is on. A business man was reminded of it by a small son who called him on the phone “Daddy, will you bring home some goldfish? “Why?” the man asked “Well,” answered the boy, I’ couple of worms and don’t kno do with them.” —Worcester E e got a what to ing Post. Her Explanation—“ Bessic,”’ said her mother, “why is it that you and your small brother are always quarreling?”’ “T don't kno returned the child, “unless I take after you and he takes after papa.”"—Boston Transcript. The Difference — “Esther,” ques- tioned the teacher of a member of the juvenile class, “what is the difference be- tw electricity and lightning?” You don’t have to pay nothing for lightning.” came the prompt reply.— Everybody's Magazine. Making a Monkey of Dame Fashion Tue Latest Tatxe ix Juxcue Stvtes Peril of Growing Pains.—Litile John had put in a very hard day of play ing and that night he said, “ Mother, oh, how my knee aches!” “That is just a growing pain and will be all right in the morning,” replied his mother. At that John exclaimed: “But the pain is in just one knee, and is one of my legs going to be longer than the other?""—IJndiana polis News. Static Personality Pa e/a “Trut we, Exxest, 18 THERE ANYTHING THAT HAS NOT INCREASED IN VALUE IN THE LAST FIVE YEARS?” You—Le foetal amasint (Paris) 23 Fliegende Blaetter (Munich) A Protest—“ Backward, turn back- ward, oh, time in thy flight,’” warbled Hortense Magee. “Stop it!” cried her father. are you trying to wish on us? remember it’s only a year ago that seventeen-year locust. was with us?”’— Washington Star. “What Don’t you he Traveling on a Slow Line—‘ This line in your hand,” said the girl who had studied palmistry, “indicates that you have a brilliant future before you.” “Is that so?” queried the dense young man. “Yes” continued the maid, ‘but this other line indicates that you are too slow ever to overtake it.”—Boston Transcripe Tempus Fugit—“ The judge sez, sez he, ‘You're a pretty smooth customer, you are,’’ “Wot follered, Bill?” “Tree years.”"—Birmingham Age-Her ald, The Wise Fool “lothes do not make the man,” observed the Sage: “Maybe not,” commented the Fool “But you'll notice how other men dodge you when you are looking seedy.""—Cin- cinnati Enquirer.