Judge — August 14, 1920 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ot ES cen samen The Reason—"I heard the speech last night: was extempore.” It was nothing of the kind. — It was Singular—* Poy ‘Well, Junior “Are ‘politics’ plural?” “No, my boy, there isn’t anything in the world more singular than politics.” Youngstown Telegran Ancient Inquiry“ We are still seck certain the ing,” said the scientist exact purpose for which the pyramids of Egypt were constructed.” “Yes,” replied Senator hum, absent-mindedly. “Some of these inves tigations do take a long time.”"—Wash- ington Star Decided Difference—" Pa, what's a slush fund?” “It’s a large sum of money raised by an opposing political party for corrupt pur “But, pa, doesn’t your party ever have a slush fund?” “No, my son. We merely raise a money for legitimate expenses." —Bir mingham A ge~ Herald. A Rare Bird Smith is a queer fel low, isr’t he?” said Brown “Ves, agreed Jones. “Why, he thinks as much of his family as he does of his political party." —Cincinnati Forecasting a Career—‘‘If my boy Josh ever goes into politics,”” remarked Farmer Corntossel, “I reckon he'll be one o' these fave-rite sons.” “What makes you think so?” “He works terrible hard for the first few days an’ then isn’t beard from the rest of the season.” —Washington Star. The Parasite’s Revenge “TL wisi [COULD WIN SIXTY THOUSAND MARKS IN THE Lorrery!”? “Wruy—wiat woutp you po wim it ERIT MY RELATIVE “Tues Lcovip o The Benefits of Lethargy Doctorp—My¥ rook FRiexp, YouR Wire SLEEPING SICKNESS. Husband—Au! Can I nore sueLe steer A LONG Tie? —Le Journal Amusant (Paris). Real Scotch—Sandy, the farmer, had been staying with some friends for about a month, and while he and his host were out for a walk one day they called at a wayside inn for a drink. As his host was about to pay for it Sandy stopped him a, na,” b id, “Ll not allow it. Ye've been keeping me in everything at yer house for a month, and. ye've treated me to the theatres, and cab fares, and paid for all the drinks. I tell I'll hae na mair of it. We'll toss for ”’—London Telegraph. ye this one. A Wink’'s as Good as a Nod—Two women weavers were married on the same day, and each had declared her intention of not returning to mill life; but their husbands thought different, and the two brides were back on their three looms in a few days. Mary Ellen struck a grand idea, Going home one evening, she began to cry, and her husband asked the reason, She re- fused to say. He insisted, and she said “I's yon o’erlooker. He keeps winkin’ at me.” “What!” cried the husband. “Winkin’ at thee? Thee stop awhoam, lass. Aw con keep thee.” Mary explained the wheeze to her friend Sarah, who tried it on with her husband ; The brute replied: “Oh, is that a’? Well, lass, thee wink back an’ he'll gi’ thee another loom!"’—Blighty ,(London).