Judge — July 17, 1920 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IT'S NOT A DREAM earwu= YOU CAN REALLY OWN A PAIR $502 DOWN BRINGS THIS SHIRT SATISFY YOUR. LIFE’S DESIRE AND OWN A COLLAR S52 ro S50 22 MONTHLY Drawn by Ganowes O, Rua “Avs” We Soon Exrecr ro See Drawn by Curstea I. Ganoe Tuincs Tuat Never Happened Society Bud—Quick, Gints, puLL pown your skirts. Here comes a Newsparer Puotocrarner! Dancing By H. M. SutHertand of hugging another man’s wife without being sued for alienating her affections or having eleven rojvs with your own. Every- one dances now except one-legged men and ministerial fire-escapes, and even the church choirs are prone to get a bit jazzy and start Congress-gaiters tapping in melodious unison in the Amen Corner. The dance of our grandmothers was a slow distant minuet, and her dancing partner only touched her hand at long and stated intervals, but now some of those who can remember those minuets grab their companions with an insidious hammerlock wrestler’s delight and whirl across the floor with arms and legs flying like a misplaced mother-hubbard in a Kansas cyclone. There are many kinds of dances executed—some of them murdered— in much the same ecstatic manner; and it is hard to tell which is what and where- fore, but the man who cannot do them all and discuss fin- stein at the same time has about as much fun at a social gathering as an Es- kimo in a Turkish bath. Interpretive dancing is one of the most wondrous ex- hibitions of the age. With little effort the dancer interprets the actions of a_ grief- crazed crab trying to stand on its head and sing the Star-Spangled Banner to an audi- ence of tongue-tied oysters. One of the latest dances is the Drawn by R. B. Poise “shimmy” which is Dries: is the only legitimate means Temptation or 4 Movie-Comepy Fan a concentrated St. Vitus from the waist up in imitation of an exposed cross-section of a pineapple jelly with a malarial chill. The walks of life are now waltzes and many of our larger ‘cities are contemplating waxed side- walks to enable the tired business man to two- step to lunch with his stenog. Salome danced the head off of John the Baptist, Gaby Deslys danced the head of the Portuguese government off the throne, and now every one else is trying to dance their own heads off, all the way from Greenland’s icy mountains to Washington Square. All Hail to Terpsichore! In the “‘Sclid South” Visitor—Ever have any undesirable visitors down here? Southerner —Yessuh. Only last week we de- ported two I. I. W.’s, three revenue-officers ard half a dozen Re- publicans. Profaning the Hour A really gcod man won’t swear at an alarm clock; he merely gives it a cursory glance. “Aisy” Enough Mike—How did ye know the card I held lasht was a sphade? Pat—An’ didn’t I see ye sphit on yer hands? The Price He Pays One of the disad- vantages of being a bachelor is being un- able to say, “My wife won’t sign the deed.” icomicbooks-com