Judge, 1920-07-10 · page 12 of 36
Judge — July 10, 1920 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page contains several brief humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century American satirical magazines: **"Final Scenarios"** presents whimsical apocalyptic vignettes—allegorical figures (Faith, Uplift, Love, Intellect, Childhood) depicted in surreal "end times" scenarios. The satire mocks Progressive Era idealism and abstract philosophizing. **"Summer Song"** is a comedic poem about hay fever, personifying the illness's symptoms with mock-solemnity. The short jokes scattered throughout mock everyday life: **"Gabriel's Understudy"** jokes about the end of the world; **"Even Up"** satirizes marriage equality (a couple of matching ages); **"The Discerning Reader"** ridicules flattery; **"Junk"** is a schoolroom joke; **"Almost But Not Quite"** distinguishes between writers and humorists. **"Columbia's Sweetheart"** (bottom illustration by Charles Saarks) shows a woman with a candy box, likely depicting romantic sentimentality or advertising. The overall tone is light domestic humor reflecting turn-of-the-century American sensibilities—no heavy political content is evident on this particular page.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Deven by NOW Watnin Old D THe GARBAGE CANS 10 #1 Your WASTING YOUR Time AIN'T WHAT Final Scenarios onan arch of the last nd sketching the ruins of the last steam-heated apartment. Faith boring its way into a castle in the air with the end of a rainbow, Uplift auctioning off the first ed of Bryan's Lectures to the last tion of the perfected hu man race Love ¢ iceberg Grundy and Ph Intellect sea taking the pressure of its frozen ego. Childhood begging a drop of milk of the last profiteer the great Camera Man, pulling a “mov he thing for exhibition in ing over a Sicilian doby | Mrs Ebenezer the purst din its ice tric cave bar Satan, whole Mars, Summer Song By Rutu Lasueet Joxes SING a dirge bs fever, Hail the scrum as reliever! Be your menace grass Shot into your arm it goes; z-weed birch or oak Sniffles flee at every stroke for old hay chestnut Every minim in the needle Means hankie heedle one less to Then sneeze good-bye to spiteful Cough and choke and weary wheeze, pur. THEY USED Sweet farewell to streaming eyes, Nose whose blush mocks sunset skies, Voice whose cotton-battinged Forms a language all its own Bt know that misgiving lurks: “Farewell” if the serum works! you Gabriel's Understudy Miss Prigg—And what would you do, Mr, Gay-Boy, if th of the world came as you sa end the bridge table? Gay-Boy—Vd play the last trump. myself, Even Up An elderly man and woman re. appeared before the city und asked for a cently clerk of Syracuse marriage license “How old are you and how old is the lady?” casually inquired the official, pick- ing up his pen “ Mister,” smiled the prospective bride- groom, nodding his head toward his blushing npanion, “this is a case of fifty-fifty The Discerning Reader dearest,” he gushed softy, in your face I find strength and character, nobility and devotion, all that is finest in a woman's soul.”” “You only say that,” she teased. “how do you know?” And like a flash of genius he sparkled, ye the lin Junk Teacher Does anybody know what junk is? Willie Willis—Sure; pa’s flivver, Almost But Not Quite They tell me that he isa writer . short stories, I presume.” ay, nay, he’s a humorist . . ort stories.” Couldn't See Through It Judge—For the loss of complainant is hereby awarded $ Defendant (swooning) He Said Last Year Inquisitive usinsance—What you do with your last year’s car? We used it last vear Lutomobilist between lines, my dear, between The Chinese travel in junks. « does , the 00. The eye dear! did — Cotempia’s Sweerueaxr