Judge — June 12, 1920 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

An Alarm Clock Dog /lutt woks like ag 1 g of vours urst—Are vou joking No. of course Pm not joking Well, Fil tell vou how We have to put an alarm clock in his ell wake up in time to ¢ his breakfast in the morning Superior Intelligence —~ Why don't you teach that dog to do some tricks? T have tried.” replicd the man who “The ¢ arn h intel Lean see by the expres sion of his face that dog doesn’t see any icks than I do. more ase in the Washin Star Reaction—" What was the result of rising a lost dog? Tramps have been infesting my place ever since.” Kansas City Journa your Muzzle Puzzle Sivies—1 have re peatedly told my wife that E wanted her Perfectly rig “But she has repeatedly told me she'd do nothing of the kind.” “Well wh “We compromised “Ho She muzzled me." — bonkers States The Root of Evil Heroes of Youth Mountain Traditions “Rip Vaa Winkle.” said the teacher who keeps the class interested by telling stories. “went into the mountains, took a drink with range people and slept for twenty some years.” I tall, slim) scholar.“ There’s no tellin hine licker will Star doubt * commented the « 0" this moo what cu. Washix dotoan nt Sister,” said The Deacon's Pl: the deacon, severely, “you should avoid even the appearance of evil “Why, deacon, what do you mean? asked the “sister.” “ Lobserved that op your sideboard you have several cut glass decanters, and that cach of them is half filled with what ap. pears tu be ardent spirits.” Well, now, deacon, it isn’t anything of the kind. ‘The bottles look so pretty on the sideboard that [ filled them half way with some floor stain and furniture polish, just for the sake of appearance “That's why I'm cautioning vou sister,”’ replied the deacon,“ Feeling a trifle faint, L helped myself to a dose fron lt ttle in the middle.”—Lo: the 7 Irony of Fate“ Speakin’ of the iron of fate.” began Uncle Bill Bottletop What do vou know about it? This is the first: spring Quite s« that my little mint patch has looked like it was really goin’ to amount to some thing. Was ngton Star Had Thought of it “Have 9 never thought of retiring from politics? “Yes.” replied Senator Sorghun but always with a shudder.’ —WasA Star Hear about Bill a case of lumbage A Friend in Need Bottlenose? He's ¢ at his house I guess Md better run over and help him drink it up.”—The Home S ssip—Don't tell Reputation —Firs asoul. but [su aw delivered to the Topeleys this afternoo le barrel of whisky in broad daylight Second Gossip—How'd you know was whisky? help Why, Topeley himself elivery man handle it with care o Express Knows Where to Find [te —Crins beuk—L understand that pr a change ohibitior vay for Where is he going kers Staesman, worker is going : Veast— Really? “To Havana.”