Judge — June 5, 1920 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Force of Habit I don’t want any more returned soldiers to work on my farm.” “Why not? [thought they made good workers.”” “They're too good. I set this one to spading up, and before I could stop him he had dug @ front line trench across my ficld.”—Baltimore American Precautions—*If we take any sum mer boarders this year,” remarked Farmer Corntassel, “I'm goin’ to fix up & questionnaire that everybody'll have answer.” “What for?” “So's they'll all have about the same i al opinions. I'm tired of bein’ | kep’ awake half the night by people | sittin’ out on the front porch arguin’ | inquired his wife Washington Star. Why Mary Left the Farm Mary got a little lamb When it was just a pup "Twas Mary’s for a year or two | But Paw’s when it grew up. —Barber County (Kan) Index Says He—Jud Tunkins says farming has become such a scientific propositi that a man has to learn to use mor different kinds of tools than he does in a golf game.—Washington Star The Architect of His Future mshi." me or] President of Priso charged burglar) man? Have you i egard to two banks a ave plans aren (Christiania) jeweler’s.— Uncertain—* You haven't congratu- d our friend on being elected to the slature.”” “Being elected to the legislature,” siid Senator Sorghum, “is more or less uncertain. Out my way it can mean either a good start in life or a poor finish." —Washington Star. Nothing to Run on—‘Have you ever seen a candidate who didn’t think he was going to win?” Only one.” “And what was the matter with him?” “The check he depended on to pay his campaign expenses was returned from the bank marked ‘No Funds.’”—Birming- ham Age- Herald Prepared for Travel—Will you ac- cept this portfolio?” inquired the Ber- lin cabinet-maker. “T don’t know,” replied the cautious statesman. “Times are so uncertain, maybe you'd better make it a suit-case.” —Washington Star. 2 s is my day at home, is the matter here? Pasquino (Turin) Comparative Greatness—" How do the prominent rivals in your town stand?” “It is hard to tell Smith has been mentioned as a favorite son for the presi dency, but Jones’ baby has cut four teeth.” —Baltimore American. Voice of Experience—* Charley, dear,” said young Mrs. Torkins, “do you want me to vote?” “['m not going to tell you.” “Why not?” “Because if anything goes wrong with the election you'll say you did exactly as L told you, and it’s all my fault.”—IWash- ington Star Statesmanship—“ Who's the Con- gressman who looks so important?” “He's an obstructionist who makes a of order on anything that looks progress.” —Louistille Courier-Jour- point like nal. Unqualified Indorsement—* Are you in favor of votes for women?” “Wh sk such a question at this late day?” inquired Senator Sorghum in retum. “How can a statesman hope to get ‘em if he isn’t in favor of’ em?” Washingron Star.