Judge, 1920-06-05 · page 14 of 36
Judge — June 5, 1920 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces reflecting early 20th-century attitudes: 1. **"He's the Fella Wot Told Us We Was Takin' a Big Chance When We Crust the Telephone Pour"**: A humorous anecdote about a man hired to tune a piano who becomes so anxious about reassembling it that he flees and eventually abandons the profession entirely for pharmacy work. The satire mocks male incompetence at technical tasks. 2. **"And He? Hers"**: A poem satirizing the shift from romantic, feminine-focused poetry to celebrating masculine qualities—though the male speaker ironically can only compliment his subject's cheek, undermining the supposed masculine focus. 3. **"A Fireless Cooker"**: A story about a successful woman running a cooking school and writing recipes for publications, yet remaining unmarried. The irony: she couldn't cook when married, implying her professional success stems from her divorce—a subtle commentary on women's economic independence. The "In Sunday School" joke offers a child's innocent reinterpretation of Noah's ark as a housing solution.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ML Peo “GFE B, Lewor “He's Fetta Wor Toro Us We We Crust tHe Tir ‘Tecernoxe Pour” I tried something For the life of me, I couldn't remember which piece went in first, and if it went first, which end, and how. Lukewarm drops of perspiration broke out in fifty places at once. A terrible ague seized me. My nerve oozed away A ghastly fear took possession of me. The hideous skeleton of the dismantled piano seemed to leer at me I threw on the coat, and crept out of the house. Outside, I ran. Miles. Then [ jumped on a long-distance trolley and rode to the end of the line. At the end of the line, It ferred and went a little farther. * * * arrangement, but it wouldn’t go in. else. ans- This was some years ago. I have since given up piano-tuning, and am now a prescription clerk in a drug- store. It is lighter work, and requires less technical knowleds Dr nm by Ganonen O, Rees “4 Was Taxiy’ a Bio Craxcr And He? Hers By A. Waurex Urner NS IW let the Muse take up a strain Unheard up to the present time Cry quits to feminine refrain And set the masculine to rhyme Let poets write their odes ne more To Prisey, Prue, Moll, Maude or Kate No dimpled chin claim lines a score Pray, feature Him! Be up to dat So He to She Who Rhymes, who soon To write in other measures tried; Stopped sobbing o'er the wayward moon And sought the fount the hint implied “What shall I praise—your eves, your hair Your hands, the music when you speak? u have no charm for which I care; Not one! Oh, yes; [ like your check!” A Fireless Cooker & Janes H. Baker that woman who just got off the car?” aa The conductor's manner was pleasantly ingratiating, “What about her?” [ asked “Been riding on this line for nearly seven years, reg'lar as a clock. She always takes the seven- fifty-eight in the morning and I bring her home on the ajter- noon shift at five-twenty. She's late today.” “Probably detained at the office.” I ventured. “Offic Hell, she ain’t no stenographer! She's got a busi ness all of her own; runs the biggest and stylishest ladies’ cookin’ school in town. She must make ten thousand the girls 0° swell families how to cook and bake. a reg’lar gold mine—they all go to her place. newspapers and ma Win ‘car learnin’ Why, she’s got She writes for the zines; you'll see her recipes everywhere. My wife uses lots of ‘em. Yes, sir, she’s an authority on all cookin’ questions. Funny she don’t marry. I looked after the woman meditatively Seven years before I had divorced her- cook because she couldn’t In Sunday School Teacher—Why did Noah build the ark? Young America—I think it was the first attempt to solve the housing problem ~ _ — — Se a , sis, looka the dust we're makin’! comicbooks.com