Judge — May 29, 1920 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Poore Childe A Ridd By Juuax M. Childe Rolande had just been graduate From the Universitee, And he started out in princely state, A youth of high degree, With a regular Baccalaureate M.A. and Ph.D. hout an Answer Draciatas Child All studies under the sun Whatever in books can be found to appeat He had mastered one by one; And a few of the things are listed here Which Rolande had swiftly “done Rolande had studied for year upon year Architecture Properties of all Emetics Art First Nid snomy Light and Shade Military Dress Parade sand Metaphysics kad Sanitation Hygienic Apodictic Disp Botan ation Portu Norwegian Prehistoric Fuegian Rt \estheti Childe Rolande left his student days Behind in the misty murk Of an old, romantic, distant haze And started to look for work \s a writer, or critic of current plays, Or—if it must be—a clerk. He fared him forth to the nearest street To purchase the daily news He tung it wide at the “Wanted” sheet what the world could use And here is the tale, well-nigh complete, Of what he did then peruse Agents, Ash-Men and Addre Boys, Boys Boys, Boys, Cutters, Pressers, Drivers, Engi and Firemen, Gate-Attendants, Helpers, Wir Instr nt-Makers s. Seven Different Kinds of Fakers, Bel sand Waiter n Draven by DN. Sax Electric - Drill - Press - Oper Auto. Butlers, Actors, Expert En Factors, Street-Sweepers, Mo! Men to Work on Sleepers Finders, rienced Theatre-Ushin, | discharged Ge Mechanics Tractors -Keepers. Colored Binders. Crook Armature Winders, Handsome Youths Jobs and snobs Childe Rolande stroked h And his flowing arti With terrible words he began to swear ng black hair And roar and snort and sig! “Oh, where shall I get me a job—oh where?” While Echo chirped, “Ob why?” So he went to a drug-store near at hand And purchased some to Kill.” Then he called his legal counsel, and Proceeded to make his will He swallowed the stuff with a gesture grand, To quit this Vale of IIL Kut the dope had been cooked up carefully Ky a firm of profitecrs, So that it seemed most snarefully Like Essence of Cobra’s Ears Yet one could bathe in it cheerfully Each day for a hundred years. wv Rolande took him forth once more To lynch the cheating swine; But all at once he stopped before \ flaming scarlet sign And here is what Childe Rolande saw (r) Recopied line by line JUDGE Simply tell us what y« P Nattnae Men Wanted. Women too. do, Agitators, Traitors, Fenus: soap-boxtype: orators Writers, Fighters, Note-Inditers One who reads, writes, and speaks the la of Finns and Grecks, also Crecks, Bolshevecks Freaks. Demonstrators, Ins! s, Praters Childe Rolande sat him on the fence His mind at a perfect halt; And his ponderings were long and dense, (Though quite unblurred by malt), Well, if he chose without much sense, Can you say who's at fault? The Bromidic Pinnacle By C. D. Roserts IE flu has flown, but “Peak” is still with us. The flu: was pandemic. peak is en demic—a disease that attacks the speech of statesmen and public men, but mostly news paper editors and reporters. It pecks at you from all over the printed page, like its coeval the verb “function.” On the landscape peaks ire prominent principally because of procerity peak in the press because it presses itself upor the notice by, its ubiquity.“ P’sychologic:! moment,” once the peak of ibominations, is almost dead; “ camoutlage which the war caused so universally to flourish that even babes and sucklings lisped it in their sleep. is moribund. But peak and function are now functioning at their peak; they are yet to sing their respective swan-songs. The rage for them is # joyous infatuation with the rage ridden; to the reader a raging nightmare. Ii now and then the users would only camoutlaxe peak and function at the psychological moment withasynonym! And if they won’t, why not as the affliction is a mental malady, psychopath iehave alicnists appointed to minister some sweet psychiatry to the minds. Wouldn't it be a relief! phraseo A Necessary Evil “These pessimistic preachers say there’s too much license in the world.” “Just the same they won't marry you unless vou've ¢ Our Home Nine 30 iar erall lil c. | A, RO pin comicbooks.com