Judge — May 29, 1920 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

7 o Poco Remy House Suorrace Ssouwery Second Dit to anybody First Hom oO NY won't Lowbrowbeating Einstein By Freprrick Moxon ler. you have during recent months re dl, Various articles purporting to. give clear and comprehensive understanding of what is termed “The Einstein Theory of Relativity.” And we will know less about it now than if you or tried to re Db" KTLESS, re ! vor venture to sav that ye had never read of it at all The reason why you have so far failed to grasp the idea is be you have sought information either from strictly scientific uals, or else from the © popular” quasi-scientific magazines. 1s for a humorous magazine to present to you an abstruse topic ina plain and readable manner What, then, /s the Einstein The There is no mystery at all about it 1H We shall elucidate by two illustrations. Our first exhibit. is popularly known as ‘The Erishman’s Hea” which, when’ he put his hand on him, “wasn’t there atall.” Now Einstein’s Theory of Relativity fully demonstrates the fact that the fl as there all the time. Pat's failure to catch him is accounted for by the important cr cumstance that he did not allow for the relativity of position between the time he started to grab the flea and the moment cau je As usual, it rem uw once cl of desi contact, His hand should have moved by a finely-caleulated gradation just ahead of the flea, and he would have got him sure. What's that? He did not know in which direction the flea was going to jump? Pooh! A trivial objection. \ negligible fluctuation of the Law of Averages. Let us proceed Now for our second illustration Metaphysics has been define “going down-cellar in the dark, looking for a black cat that isn’t there.” An epigrammatic bit of cleverness whereat we have chuckled, as if Metaphysics had been discredited for alltime. Nota hitofit, Through th nstein Theory of Relativity we now know that there sa-eat. but to find her we must: take Daven by Laye Comprar LOOKING Ur Hs FAMILY TREE. into consideration the velocity of the Earth relative to. its rotation around the Sun, whereby instead of going down cellar in the dark we go up into the attic by daylight, where Kitty will be found—only in place of being black she will be pure white, possibly Persian. These two. simple illustrations will readily: suggest others and having furnished this clue, we will leave it to our intelligent readers to de-theorize the Theory for themselves We thank you ny cat and Met ree hip,or relativity, betwee sics, but we are not able at ine what de Which Tt begins to look as if Wood would row his litthe boat inte Four Year Por nly his bo Woodrow can row and would row on and on leaks Wood knows Woodrow would row inter nad his way, but Woodrow doesn’t know how good Wood would row. It will be for the uy whet her Wood or Woodrow Whether Wood rows or Woodrow rows, let us hope the winner minably ifhe peepul shall row doesn’t rack the boct The Confessional By 1. B. Binpsace KNOW my lady knows I've scen her silken hose; I've gazed with awe on garments which, Were [to venture or to switch Upon a theme so shameless, I could but hold her blame If she should show me to the door And wish to sce me nevermore. Vet [have seen my lady’s clothes Of sheerest white and baby rose For as L went a courting through \ tane, secluded, that led to The flat wherein my lady dwells, With all its noise and restless smells— \ line of loveliness flapped the air— "Twas wash-day for my lady’s wear. ae re comicbooks.com