Judge — May 22, 1920 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| A Lament ! ’y Kaeo Litwer, Allegheny Collere, ‘21 BIOLOGY —the day be cursed When I, so unsuspecting, first Within its quicksands was submersed Way o'er my head, j While endless names like depth bombs burst : With sounds I dread } I could not understand, whyfore It was each tiny creature bore Some fourteen syllables or more ‘Of name o: Vhey made my ver Dog-gon’ ‘em em, jawbones sore Why will no name in Science do That has not Latin, Greek, Hebrew All mixed in a sonorous stew youthful verse. Iphabet there too, And all To make it worve? ver wished to ser many’s there mm that I made me try have learned to dy Awl been an Aves Hesperornithi But what's the use her do I care to find ancestors were some crude kind + animals without a mind. Tt makes me sore such scandal should be kept bebi The closet door LTS Aan i SEE Lets co LN ee ke Selfish Your husband is mighty: good to you.” What do you mea Why, I've heard he’s bought machine for you.” Not for me; he’s heard that it’s a good thing » make beer in Michigan Gargoyle a washing Her Impulse First Co-ed—Think I'll go to church tonight Second Co-ed—Why’s that? First Co-ed—Oh, I feel kind of Penn. State Froth hymnish No Defense Law Professor—Now, Mr. Brown give any argument for the defendant? Mr. Brown—(long silence) L. P.—Well, that’s convincing, but it isn’t sound —Cornell Widow can you Dad Still There Father (upstairs)—It is time for that young man to go home Voung Man—Your father is a crank Father (ovethearing)—Well. when you don't have « self-starter, a crank comes in mighty | handy.—Pitt Panther Jack—Gitls are prettier than men Jean—Natura Jack—No—ar ly Cornell Widee At His Word Prof—Jones, do you think you can handle the English language? Frosh—Sir, my knowledge of the English language has always been my greatest asset Prof —Good; take this dictionary down-stairs, then.— Penn. State Froth. The Safest Way She—I1 wouldn’t stand for that if I were you. Why don’t you call him a liar? He—That’s just what ll do. Where—where is your telephone?—Minnesota Foolscap. er night the men siastically as they She—At the dance the didn’t seem to dance as er He (mournfully) —Yes, omehow: they seem Yale Record 26 to miss the old punch Ae? = TAR ike é We Beg to Announce The college authorities regret that, owing to the advent of spiritualism, it will be necessary to publish a new set of rules and regulations gov erning the conduct of students: 1. No student shall under any circumstances bring a ouija board into an examination room. Any student who, by tke blank expression on his he is communicating with Euclid, Plato, Shakespeare, or other author ities on the subject of examinations, shall he removed from the premises 2. Spiritual advisers will be furnished for all students in need of moral support. Line forms in front of University Hall. Advisers will make themselves as agreeable and harmless as possible; but under no circumstances shall a student, however irritated, abolish the breath of an adviser. 3. Table tipping in Memorial Hall during the soup course is forbidden. 4. Any student who feels that he is about to become the recipient of a message from some other world shall report to the Psychopathic Hospital in Boston for further treatment. Any student who thinks ke sees the ghost of a chance of getting through tke final examinations shall take a photograph of it immediately, and sub- mit it to the professors involved. — Manan! Lampoon Patience ‘Vhere was a young man from Calais, On the flute he endeavored to plais. When discouragement came. He would always exclaim, “Ah! but ‘Rome wasn’t built in adais.’’’ Notre Dame Juggler Maybe She Shimmies Dress Suit—How do you know her teeth are false? Tuxedo—When she was dancing the other night they jarred out!—Tvwa Frivol It Sounded So My girl brought me a basket of eggs. A> she walked up the steps, [| said, ‘(What beautiful eggs.” And when reached me she slapped my California Pelican face. The Punishment “What is the extreme penalty for bigamy” “Two mothers-in-law."—Washington Sur Dodger The Pessimist ‘The girl with a wooden leg thinketh that short skirts are indecent.— Notre Dame Sugelor comicbooks.com