Judge — May 8, 1920 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

en ree ee meee eee w: by Hewtas Pacacvae Judgements Jous a. Stetcurn, President Recvaes PB. Stern, S Preeerros Maxweit, Ed. Thar Srecrrat Panic ROPHETS arise daily to warn us of a looming P panic—one so frightful that all previous Black Fridays shall seem as bright as a bride’s marriage morning face. Seemingly we are as deaf as Sodom and Gomorrah. Secretly we recall Mother Hubbard, lay an extra bay of potatoes in the cellar, and plume ourselves upon being a second edition of Joseph of the famine Having taken these precautions we turn over the panic to Providence and the Government. Yet, a Panic Insurance Company that would pool all wealth might enable civilization in this neighborhood to sleep soundly through the typhoon. The British Government pooled all stocks durit the war, and the details here could be left to some oil promoter, or to an editor omnisciently gifted with a typewriter which instructs fate in the way it should ge I-ven statesmanlike panic-averters, such as coining half- cent pieces for tips, pale into puerility beside this idea this “early and provident fear which is the mother of safety.” Let the plan be propagated—a vast propa- nda against nightmares, goose-flesh and the fear of verty. This is nothing to a ion that added an hour to the day and took it off again. With the panic settled, we shall all have more time for piety. The Lilliputs may object, but the titanic zrasp of our giant of gold shall seize the panic by the horns and fling it across the Styx—where it may wail to the sinking spirits that the Yankee goblin will get them if they don’t watch out ENATOR CALDER frankly acknowledges that he would like to be vice-president of these United more or less—States. Slightly prefixing Henry Clay's immortal renunciation, the average contemporary statesman would rather be in right than be vice- ent. c It cerestling and fencing matches in Japan the umpire ses a large fan, and various motions of thts fan cons a language chich the co understand perfectly.—Informatice Fragment. As in baseball in this country. ‘The Fans here speak a language which the contestants invariably understand. urer | Gwanr Be Eb yar Sunnaen, deso: ENE DEBS for President, is the Socialist sl Debs, who is serving a ten-year term in Atlanta te in the Penitentiary, is said to be “the only cand The infield, obviously; not the out photographs she ers ide instead of dozen the center sibly, British royalty i to sidestep. Ptting re you let the “Wets” tell it, gentle reader, you will vain the impression that the bed-rock of the liber- ties of the English-speaking race was known as the Magnum Charter The packers convey the impression that the Amer- ican housewife should be out looking for trouble REAT BRITAIN, it now appears, would let ver—and then pay damages. Or, tht visualize it, Germany takes the ers to its feet, and then goes through Germany rec as a boxing fan m count of nine, stags wf people are absolutely broke Son men ceould even ccork overtime tu give N? memory system has yet been invented which 1 i fing the average husband to recall his w enable anniversary “APHE quictude of genuine power,” an expressi coined recently by the President, is the placid calm which comes over a man when he gets the fourth ace in the draw. . . . JNTIL we saw a fat woman running down a lor station platform, in an attempt to catch a two-car train, we had supposed that a sprinter in a hundred- yard dash could make more faces than anybody else the world 14, comicbooks.com