Judge — April 24, 1920 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Two Million Motor Cars Will Not Be Enough MILLION persons who want a A car will be disappointed this year! Any car with four wheels and a hood can be sold. Consequently, some of the two million buyers who think themselves “lucky? may be sadly disillusioned, after an experience of a few months with their new cars. Don’t buy just “any” car. the Motor Department of I Weekty help you with its e unbiased advice, free of charge. Your car must represent a wise investment as weil as a reliable vehicle of trans- portation, Fill out the following coupon in detail and mail to LESLIE'S WEEKLY 225 Fifth Avenue, New York, N. Y COUPON Haron W. Stausox, ME Manager, Motor Departm Lestie’s WEEKLY Fifth Avenue — New York City 1 am considering the purchase of a car to cost about $ and am espectally interested in one of the (make) (type) requirements for a car are as fol- Capacity Dricen and cared for by self chauffeur Kind of roads over tehich car tould be ised I have ened other cars of the following makes: lowing cars of approximately in wehich I am interested are handled by dealers in my territory: Please advise me as to the car best suited to my requirements Name Address Answers to Probloid No. 9 By Geverr Borcess What ould you do, if you vere locked into a room on the 171 floor of the Flatiro Building sith a rattlesnake, a maniac and a mad dog? ‘OME of JupGe’s contestants are honest Their answers range, frankly, all the way from “J don't know,” to “I'd die! But of the liars, the most accomplished, it seems to me, is this one which, therefore, my word being law, I, being of sane mind, do hereby “award First Prize “Ld sic the mad dog on the maniac and rattle the snake for help.” B. Freprric SKINNER, SUSQUEHANNA, PENNA Oh, I forgot—there was one honest man named Mack Chopnick of Brooklyn, who ad mitted puldn't do anything unless they dit . To return to the more splendid prevaricators most of them seemed to believe that this Probloid had something to do with Prohibition. And among those I dip in my thumb and pull out—of cours: you've guessed—one of those oft-mentioned dried grapes. such as that of Sibyl’s Solitaire Ry Tevow Jenks PRIL: Sibyl, full of care Plays at “ Patience ’—solitaire; Dull gray skies—no one about; That is why the cards are out JUNE: Now Sibyl's debonnaire She's won her “ solitain She'll be married soon, no doubt, That is why the cards are out The Long, Long Gale ‘I'm fearfully tired *What’s the matter?” “Why, this is April.” “What has that to do with it?” “Didn't Tendure a March of 31 days?” Drawn by Cursvoun Yous Charles A. Hughes of Glendale, L. 1, N.Y “In the manufacture of the next batch of home brew, | would exercise exceeding care to climinat that super uous raisin.” Now that'll be about all about raisins Turning slightly to our left, we behold a line of agile punsters—why, if there isn’t our old friend Irving Davis, also of Brooklyn! “Whar would I do? Why, I'd start singing scales until I got the right key, and then I'd unlock myself.” He meant the door, of course, but never mind Max Whitson, of Asheville, N. C., too, will have little joke. “ After cheering up my room mates with a few Jokes from Juvce, I’d make a noise like smallpox and break out.” R. P. Conway, of Philadelphia, started out fine, but stubbed his toe and fell down hard. But, as he meant well, we will quote, “ Pound the dog, manacle the maniac, and stle the rattlesnake.” Well, I thought of putting Sir Oliver Lodge in that room, too—but I'm glad now 1 didn’t. T know you would all have been Ouija-bored. Blissful Ignorance If any one person could only hear all that his acquaintances said about him he would be sur prised to learn how much he did that he never knew about! True, True Murphy—Prohibition is ‘n awful thing O'Brien—It wudn't be so bad if a man could go into a saloon and drown out th’ thought av it Endwise There is a Divinity that shapes our ends, but it is up to us poor mortals to make them meet Happy Heward—|s Coward happily married? Jay—Yes, indeed, his wife runs their Trish Katie as well as she runs their tin Lizzie. Tue Hovusinc Prosrem Mother—My ge “ I told Willie distinctly to tie Fido to our new house! comicbooks.com | | |