Judge, 1920-04-24 · page 3 of 36
Judge — April 24, 1920 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical ballad by Richard Le Gallienne titled "Tobacco Next!" published in Judge magazine on April 24, 1920. The poem mocks Prohibition-era reformers who successfully banned alcohol and now threaten tobacco. The satire criticizes these "legislators" as hypocritical crusaders ("bloodless crew") intent on imposing moral restrictions on ordinary citizens. References include drinking glasses being taken away, mentions of "demitasse" (small coffee cups), and historical prohibitions (beer, cider). The poem warns that after alcohol prohibition, tobacco will be next—predicting an endless cycle of government-enforced moral regulation. The "Hudibras" reference invokes a 17th-century mock-heroic poem, comparing these reformers to ridiculous zealots. The refrain "Don't make the same mistake again" sarcastically suggests Americans should have learned from Prohibition's failures before supporting further restrictions on personal behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
APR 23 “9 ide ©uesss797 Volume 78 $7.00 a Year Entered as ot the Post der the A: Number 2008 JUDGE “THE HAPPY eAIEDIUM” 15 Cents a Copy 4 Weekly b 1920 Pilth Avenue New’ York City New York, Aprit 24 BALLADE OF ‘‘COBACCO NEXT!’’ ‘By Richard Le Gallienne HEY took away your drink from you, The kind old humanizing glass, Soon they will take tobacco too, And next they'll take‘our demitasse;” Don't say “The bill-coull-never-pass!” Nor this my warning word disdain: You said it once. you silly ass! Don’t make the same mistake again. We know them nov, the bloodless crew, We know them all too well, alas! There’s nothing that they svouldn’t do To make the world a Bible class; Though agains: bottled beer or Bass I search the sacred text in vain by the Ma Don’t make the same mistake again. To find a whisper Beware these legislators blue, Pouring their moral poison-gas On all the joys our fathers knew; The very flowers in the grass Are sate no more; and lad and lass, "Ware the old birch-rod, and the cane! Here comes our modern Hudibras Don’t make the same mistake again. Envoi Prince. vanished is the rail ot brass. Tobacco nexi! So mark me well, and my refrain: You silly ass, Don’t make the same mistake again! comicbooks.com