Judge — April 10, 1920 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Consider the Tired Business Man By Matcoum La Prave H® toils not in the noonday heat, Nor braves the wintry air, But sits within an office suite Upon a swivel chair. And there, secluded and alone, You'll find him day by day Confiding to the dictaphone What he desires to say Each evening when, with nerves o'erwrought, He quits the busy mart, He's far too tired to give a thought Yo literature or art. But every one agrees, ‘twould seem His weary mind delights In farces with a Bedroom theme And pretty girls in tights O speed the day when he'll confess He's not more tired than w When he'll regale himself with chess And read philosophy! Waiting-Rooms By Cnet Siaren ROOMS are the haunts of bored ex- AITING pressions, crossed legs and unanchored children They also house “No Smoking” signs, gum-machine and a ticket agent who wears a green shade over his ey¢ and believes the days of chivalry were mythological In the large cities the habitués of waiting-rooms read newspapers and add up the marble columns. In the small town they gaze at huge pictures of distant scenic wonders and listen to the logic of the lop-cared lunky who drives the two-bit bus to the Busler House. The idea of the delayed pass was originated in a waiting-room. Dratn by G. B, INweos “Well, th Hea jest in time Drown by Av. Hesnrs “Bill was caught with the goods.” hen how docs it come he’s at laree?” “The jetectives couldn't re and drank up With the possible exception of a house for rent noth- ing is more vacant than the face of a man in a waiting- room. No advertising folder could ever be written from the comments of a group of waiters. A waiting- room is a fine place to practice up twiddling thumbs. The usual procedure followed in a waiting-room is to get weighed on the weighing-machine. Then read the pub- lic notices and the notices to passengers. ‘Then revel in the legend on the big clock which recites the virtues of the leading jeweler. Then purchase a magazine at the newsstand and read an editorial which scathingly denounces the activities of the profiteers. More time is wasted in a waiting-room than anticipating promotion. Waiting-rooms harbor red-hot stoves in winter and plenty of dust in the summer. ‘The doors of a waiting- room, during the cold months, are kept open so the cold blasts may circulate. During the warm months the doors are closed so the cool breeze may remain outside. The windows are about as clear as the writings of Einstein. Little dogs blow into waiting-rooms, sniff, and yo out. ‘The train bawler infrequently tries out his public Greek fountains and on. Some persons snooze. A yard er Wolf! Wolf!” Miter which seat, if vossible. Sanitary rust on rine creates cries of original everyone resumes his A Rouser Pawnch delivered a rousing speech Phe Hon. Portleigh last night, Lam told?” said a guest ‘Eh-ye “Several fellers that skurcely: sleep at all!” e tavern at Grudge they returned the landlord of were there sty b'durned_ if could, His Most Thrilling Experience Friend What experience with an animal gave you the big gest scare Returned Big Game Hunter L stepped on the cat’s tail in the dark! The first night Twas home when comicbooks.com