Judge — April 3, 1920 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by Hewstas Patani Ju dg Reepes Po Strtcune rron Maxwart, £ \. Stren, 7 The Unrriep Kaiser HE refusal of the ex-Kaiser to be tried cheats the audience of the play—just as if Casar had jumped around the statue of Pompey and escaped. It makes our mouths water to think that the fallen ot could make the trials of Charles Warren Hastings and Aaron Burr mre police hea Some folks insist that the trial.QF fhe once-mighty Emperor ofeGermany would echipse-even the Harry Thaw cast t this is mere conjecture The ex-Kaiser is shirking a lofty duty, 1 natural law that kings and cabbages should go into the pot consistently. The Prussian Mithridates would amid the sighing of the nations, the rising gorge of revenge and the swirl of the moving-picture fh He would hold a more splendid place than he ever did on his throne, and all civilization would throng around the scaffold, as if the world were a vast Coliseum, History would tell its secrets on the stand, lawyers would pose with the rhetorical grandeur of E mund Burke, sympathy would smoke like volcanoes in full eruption, and the newspapers could gambol gleefully once more with headlines. William Il ought to do a kingly act, step in the dock for a farewell appearance, give us a new thrill, fix the crown of martyrdom to his brow with éclat, and pass out in a blaze of ry—like a good actor. Most of us Jie because we can’t help it. William Hohenzollern can pass into an immor- des rings, for it is plainly die well, witness VB. Ronewcen, Tr J. AL Wanonox, CONGRE SS as usual will distribute free see year, $290,000 having been tacked on the avri- cultural bill for that purpose. Congress, let us hope, will at least ninate those notorious “reds” of the vegetable kingdom, beets, carrots, radishes andtomatoes. Likewise, that dangerous extremist, the Red Onion. * * ry tal institution both here and in Vale aL ol ation gem ents Grasre Hasicros, fe Bd fate Editor “Remembers Horse in Will,” says a headline. Well, why not?) Many a silly ass has been remembered in a will. * * . THE English are just a trifle worried. They didn’t mind Pussycat’s coming to London; she wanted merely to look at the Queen; to frighten a littke mouse under the chair. But “Pussyfoot™ has other and more insidious designs, * * . Paris—yes, we said Paris—has started a crusade against low-cut gowns on the ground that they are immodest. Boy, bring digitalis cocktail! ° . . NDIANS are never bald,” Chief Manitowog of the Siwash tribe told a paleface audience recently. Possibly the fact that they are natural experts at scalp treatment may have something or other to do with it. * * * It is the easiest thing in the world to please a woman and the only difficulty is to find out how. * * * HE vibrations of the voice can be halla—which is on higher ground transformed into vibrations of than Holland. ae in a light ray, susceptible of being pho- : : : tographed. Some women, having A METROPOLITAN department their voices photographed in this store advertises a very appe- tizing 49-cent luncheon. ‘This price enables a woman out shopping “Keep the change” to the ress when she hands her a half t to say, wa ay ue ¢ ‘Sun shines fashion, will insist upon having the “print” touched up to look like Melba’s or Galli-Curci’s finest notes, and even then these women will declare that their voices do not look well in a photograph anyhow. comicbooks.com