Judge, 1920-04-03 · page 10 of 36
Judge — April 3, 1920 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page presents early-20th-century automotive humor satirizing the new car owner experience. **"Once to Every Man"** (main feature) mocks the anxiety of first-time drivers. The narrative depicts a nervous new motorist obsessively worried about mechanics (clutch, throttle, spark plugs, flat tires) while simultaneously convinced his car is "the finest on earth." The satire targets the contradiction: he's terrified of damaging the road yet oblivious to actual dangers; he'll trade this car next year despite treating it like a lifetime possession. The joke captures early-automobile culture's mix of pride, mechanical ignorance, and superstitious reverence toward motorized transport. **The smaller cartoons** ("Caddie Cheek," "Mortified," "To the Point") offer brief quips about golf, romance, and automotive maintenance—standard magazine filler humor of the era. The page reflects a specific historical moment when automobile ownership was becoming middle-class but drivers remained mechanically illiterate and socially anxious about this new technology.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Drum by Wowucros Writs aes The Boss—You don’t seem to get very much Expert—Well sir, you must remember I'm installing ethciency methods, “Once to Every Man” (Not Omitting Woman) By Epwis L. Sani ERE they come—the new driver and his (or her) new car. How careful he is not to hurt the’ road! His face is fixed and anxious. His mind is upon the next corner. His hom notifies from afar, de nan ting « learance of vehicles and pedestrians. \ dog in the road looms like a lion in his path. He wobbles a bit, but he sits very straight, grasping very firmly the wheel, holding hard on the lines lest his steed get away from him. — His daily thoughts are of clutch, throttle, spark, and steering apparatus. His nightmares are of flat tires. He has one now, but he does not yet know it His main object is to start and to stop. His gears clash. He fears that people will recognize in him a new driver, but he hopes not He has many questions that he wishes to ask the agent All is mysterious. The instruction book is Sanscrit to him, the diagrams are Cubist pictures. His varnish convinces him that he has the finest car on earth; and the agent has told him so, He polishes and wipes often. This car will serve him his lifetime- but next year he will trade it in for an- other model. Pretty soon he will be buying acces- D. Sw sories, Already he can talk wisely of tires, and rear “X,” and speaks of ir ne here! having his cylinders reset. Does ne n valves? Ii his car misses, he isn’t sure. He moves. That isenough. Blessed ignorance. ! \ bent fender is tragedy. Some of his grease-cups are empty; but why is a grease-cup? How few are the people who observe the rules of the road! He is constantly being offended, and his drives are filled with narrow escapes. He marvels that there are not more accidents. I love him. He warms my heart—and sometimes my wrath But only once can we be driver of our first car, successor to our first long pants, the first red-top boots, and paralleled only by our first wife. mea Caddie Cheek I suppose you've seen wore players than I am?” (Silence). “I say, I suppose you've seen worse players than I am?” “T heard you, sir, but I’m just thinkin’ Mort—ified “Vd die for you!” he cried. And lo! She wrinkled up her brow. “Old stuff, old stuff,” she said. “I know Too many dead ones now.” To the Point “Fixing your car?” asked the passerby as a grimy man crawled out from under an automobile “No,” responded the grimy one with a withering look, “Merely dabbling in oil.” ter—It’s a good thing | was a sprinter in my college days to—Yes, hty handy right now! n’ believe me, that tackle job I had on our football team comes comicbooks.com