Judge — March 27, 1920 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Webster Revised a liquid, good for preserving almost t secrets. le—from English “ought to,” and eo,” to move. A vehicle woica ove, but frequently can’t fict—a married ma Benedictine, a { female and Benediction, their chil imy—sort of insanity in which a man s upon paying three board bills, instead day—anniversary of one’s birth, ob- served only by men and children Champa, the stuff that makes the world go around. Chauffeur—a man who is smart enough to operatefan automobile, but clever enough not own one. m French “coller”—pasted or etude” study: a place where every- one i k on study. Cook—A charitable _ institution ding food and. shelter for uck. and without life (See Boston) n—a good chance to Exple begin at the bottom and work up. Fei a pugilist’s bluff. ‘a woman's bluff. —a round about way of expressing affection. {nfant—a disturber of peace. Infaittry—a defender of peace. Hole—frequent test for sobriety Lie—a very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one discovered to date. Lowe—a man’s insane desire to become a woman's meal ticket. Meal—according to the liquor law before prohibition, a minute bunch of crumbs, surrounded by booze, Mind—no matter. Matter—never mind. Miracl—a woman who won't talk Pullman Porter—legalized train robber. Sailer—a man who makes his liv- ing on water, but never touches it on shore. Sandwich—an unsuccessful at- tempt to make both ends meat. Whiskey—trouble put up in liquid form, —Mass. Tech. Voo Doo, Drawn by L, V. A. Genin, Syracuse University Joyous, At Any House Party The He—Do you ever think of marriage? The She—Constantly.—Cornell Widew. Fatal Repetition “T thought you said it was a case of love at first sight.” “Tt was.” “Well—why didn’t you marry her? I saw her on several other occasions.”— Notre Dame Juggler> The Judge Nods on His Bench Inadvertently—possibly the time, was respon its College Wits pages credited to The Yale Rec taken from The C Readers familiar with the clever artists of The Widow must have known that Baskerville Steffens and Newton could not possibly have transferred their talent to a rival university magazine. Jupce’s friend- f rd several illustrati the o magazines is without are herewith tendered. A Cottece Stupe As He Sees Himsenr 26 Irresponsible What We Hear at a Dance Lam simply crazy about dancing I was petrified when I saw him. I'm absolutely consumed with envy ‘The lights are so dazzling, they make me blind Can't you shut the window? I'm frozen stiff I'm so hot I perspire torrents He makes me sick. I nearly had a fit when he told me that joke The last partner I had drove me insane. I simply died laughing I was perfectly dumb. I'm so tired, I’m just dead. She is terribly pretty. Some huskies, these modern girls. Lehigh Burr How to Get a Drink I simply had to have a drink; not merely one but many. But gin was fifteen dollars a quart and not much to be bought. I would have given anything to get to some place where there was no prohibition. But I was nearly broke. Suddenly I was inspired by a newspaper headline. At once I bought a false beard and a red flannel shirt. Then I wrote a note to the chief of police and procured a soap box. That night I addressed a howling mob down on Third Avenue. “To hell with the rich,” I shouted again and again, and my audience took up the cry. Then came a wild yell of “cops” and in rushed the police. The chief had done his duty. “We'll have to deport you,” said the sergeant to me. “Where do you come from?” “Havana!” 1 bellowed trium- phantly.—Yale Record. The Candid Boniface A hotel man was invited to dine at one of the fraternity houses. “T hope,” said one of the hosts, “that you will make yourself feel at home here.” “It seems that | should,” replied the landlord, as he glanced over the table. “I see plenty of my silverware.”"—Stanford Chaparral. Lines by a Prof (Dedicated to a Frosh) A student there was, Who was told a lot; The more he listened The less he got —Syracuse Orange Peel. 4