Judge — March 13, 1920 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Lawdy, nig what am dat er buzzin’ ‘round mah haid?” * Dat am er hoss-fly.” Sr hoss-fly?, What- what am dat?” “Why, er hoss-fly is a li fly buzzes wot ‘round hosses, cows an’ jackasses,” “Look heah, niggah, does you mean Usinuate dat I’m er jackass?” No, sah, chile, Ah doan’ mean v’ ’sinuate nuffin, But n’t fool er hoss-fly.”” you-all C Drawn by Geonce J. Columbia Univers The Meek and Lowly College Man By IOLD the college man’ He enters, clad in’ dressing gown designed after the latest oriental rug, and with all the colors reputed to have been sported by Joseph in his own Egyptian model. He smokes a furnace-like pipe, with college letter and numerals emblazoned on the bowl like the name-plate over an undertaker’s door-bell. His newly born mustache is like the worn-out end of a whisk-broom, and his hair lies obediently fat, parted with mathematical accuracy in the center, He wears his Sophomore hat about the Campus at all times, and the rest of the time he sits on the college fence, rich in its traditions of past class-fights and amateur painting Hestrums on his ukulele, all the while singing louder than ent that the bystanders may not recognize his instrument. His days are spent largely in joining informal quartettes in their discordant renditions of “Good Old Alma Mater” and “Drink ’er Down!” Between verses, the crowd adjourns to the jobs. the accompanim unfamiliari Mother Was Curious ¢ through the key-hole at your sister arid myself —A. J. N. ck, were you loki ht? ‘no! Lesser, C Mom was in the way Cross my heart 1 wasn’t mbia University Let Him Go to It I saw Dick kiss Marianne! I saw them go into the library and c resist the temptation of following them, although [will admit it wa trick. ‘They sat on the big, soft sofa, Xt first he only put his arm and held her hand. Then he Je closer and put his cheek against He inhaled the delicious odor of her wavy, brown hair. His arm around her tightened and he drew her to him and kissed her on her well-formed, me red lips. He closed his eyes a 4 sigh of contentment. Okt Dick was of is Hite and far be it 1 A uld not a dirty vund her Ronrer ( f Cincinnati, pins, University ¢ A Hint to the Fair Frails Don’t let your friend lean 3 doorbell when he’ night. It's 2 dead give-away how long the operation takes. Lert, Columbia University, Draven by Ry L, Leona, University « Two Ovt Artuur D. Scuwarz, Columbia University Bases Fut. s f California, “22 and encouragement. heep-skin coats, and books—they are nearby watile-shop for refreshments Everybody wears golf-stockings, knickers, tort shell glasses. Everybody carr’ students! He goes to classes very seldom—what good are lectures wher he can buy the year’s notes from an efficient grind for a few doll In the evening he meets his fraternity brothers at the “house,” w here they discuss plans for annihilating non-froter- nity men and for cornering all the Campus political jobs. O sionally, women run loose in the fraternity-house—visitine s.s- ters and imported 3 ‘The conversation is all of women and football, week and the next game, nothing and more of it. And so he lives his happy but meaningless four years, awaiting his degree and spending his father’s hard-earned cash. Behold, the cotlege man! He exists only in the Sunday cartoons and in the Broadway college plays. He is a myth! ste Lo, The Poor Indian! I see that Europe is willing to accept the peace treaty with our reserv- “Haven't we done Univcersity of Nebras. Indians enough dirt already?"—E. L. Srmewenr, 1 History Revised Undoubtedly another great historical hoax has just been uncovered Recent events conclusively go to show that Socrates, who was a noted tippler in bis time, died of wood-alcohol poisoning from bootleg booze. It will be recalled that he was paralyzed from drinking, the paralysis begin at his feet and working upward. The family, to hush the matter up, gave it out that he died from drinking hemlock Bit. Losn, Stanford Univer: Pretty Good, on the Whole Backelor—Y ou fellows claim to have better halves, but we have some con- solation. Bencdict—And that 1s? Backelor—We have better ¢ A.J N. Lessee, Columbia Un arters ersity. Lowered Gaze Row A—That was a pretty blond on the left end of the chorus, Lower BoxWas she a blond?—S. H. Lemon, Cotumbie University, '24 comicbooks.com