Judge — March 6, 1920 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ae fe by Wes Barats Digest Self-Defe! He Why did you She rtise that worthless maid's ways isn’t good for a thir She—1 know, dear, but the Gaddys Have made her an offer and we don’t want them to know all about our” private alairs.— Baltimore American \ Waking Device Ah suid the hevd-clerk. urriving punctually now, Mr. Slo “Pm ghul to notice tha Yes, sir, Dve AX yatrrot? What on told you to get an alarm-clock! Ves, I did. But after a day or I got used to it, and it didn’t wake me ought a parros h for? 1 o E got the parrot, and now when 1 go to bed [fix the alarm-clock and put the cage on top of it, When the parrot, and prarrol alarm goes off it startles the that bird says would wake up nt Tit-Bits anybody! L The Easier Replaced Mrs 1. 1 am going to get a divorce Mrs. B.—Car husband? Mrs. A—Ves, but the cook can't Boston Transcript uu get along with your In 1925—" The butler was intoxicated this afternoon, Henry. You must dis charge him. “Discharge him nothing. VU s wages. Maybe he'll tell, where he got it.’—The Home Sector muble Laying Down the Law—The voung arded the breakfast table with a she said) sternly to her handmaiden, “how often have T told you that when you lay eggs you must lay spoons too!” —London Tit Bits. of the World’s Open Bars Nasty Gaatixe Notsis—Par First and Last Straw - ¢ (coldly) night Employer (amazed) Why, Delia how going to quit Si ie slightest reason? Cook (tiercely) — Slightest reason Why did you insult me by giving me an alarm clock as a birthday token? Burfalo Express Not Necessary Mrs Tompk brought home a new girl from the intel ligence office, and was instructing her her duties And do you have to be called in the dd » be, mum,” replied the morning?” she was ask “1 don’t have girl, hopefully, to need ee.” less you just happen Boston Transcript How Sk Heard— Mes. Flathush—1 am certainly very glad to meet you. 1 have heard so much about you Mrs, Bensonhurst—Oh, indeed! ‘Then you are the woman who has been s! ing omy servants from me! Yonkers cture Writing Baron Re Kondo, president. of a. steamship a dinner he gave recently pany: said in New York “The Japanese are a very clean pe 1 know an American traveler whe testify to this, The traveler, half famished, made his cahouse in ar way one day i Japanese village. A geisha girl ushered NLU a spotless, airy room and brought him him a cup of unsweetened tea. As he could speak no Japanese, he tricd to expla signs that he wanted a full smiled the girl, the meal Iv. failed to understand. aight he would He took out So the traveler. th resort to another mean book and pencil, drew a fish and und handed the drawing to the I ris An cE. geisha. ‘This time she laughed delight winds and ran from the edly, clapped her “The traveler was pleasesi. He waited mtedly for his meal. Five or ten minutes passed. ‘Then the door pened and two attendants — staggered with a portable bath. brimful of water and a cake of soap."—Washin Star Query from Sir James— ere js story h a moral for Hon, James Dutt of C: habit of shouting into the receiver, and one day Sir James Whitney, who was in his office nearby, asked what all the clephone users nasa was in the racket was about “Itis Mr. Dull, sir” replied a clerk “He is talking with his wife up in Simeoe County.” “He is, ch?” said Sir James. “Wel loesn’t_he telephone why on carth instead of yelling across the Pre like that?""—Boston Transcript, comicbooks.com —