Judge — March 6, 1920 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Acts To bore the name “Sylvester Smith.” Mrs. Smith was mystified. “T am the brother of your late husband,” her visitor explained when she went down. “We were twins.” Mrs. Smith looked at him in amazement, marveling at the resemblance. “But he never told me he had a brother!” she said. “Naturally. We quarreled long ago, and were as strangers. Yet | am his heir-at-law—his only blood relative. Of course you, as his widow, have certain rights.” Mrs. Smith was tactful. Most optimists are tactful. She invited Sylvester Smith to dinner. As she analyzed | the matter she found it quite free from complexity. Tn fact it was amazingly simple. So she married Sylvester. A AEE, r The Disappointing Result By ‘Tou P. Morcan E figgered that it was a mighty good idy, when the town | council decided to order Constable Slackputter to round | up the loafers and put ’em to work on the roads,” admitted the ] landlord of the Petunia tavern. “There wasn’t any great harm to them fellers. They just set around in the way of busy peo- ple day after day, swapping foolishness, and we thought we would get some good out of “em by having ‘em fix that bad stretch of road coming into town from the south. “But when we went out to see how things were coming along we found Slackputter set- ting on a rock and the loafers all lopping around him and listen- ing with the most profound at- tention to his recital of how he arrested the feller that the sheriff, back in 1 telling how he aimed to handle the such-and-such a bunch if they didn’t quit doing so-and-so the next time he told ’em, and such as that, and borrowing his chewing tobacco, and every once in a while declaring in admiring tones that he was just about Draven by Hassuros Wises Feminist—Biologists claim that women are the backbone of modern civilization. Friend—I can easily see there’s something in the theory! -Day the best and bravest dod-rotted officer the town had ever had. The loafers were still loafing, and Slack wasn’t even preserving the peace and dignity on our streets. So we simply had to tum ’em loose and call Slack into town.” Tempora Mutantura By Josceu P. Maxnanan I sigh to think of when we wed, With Honeymoon ensuing, And of the blissful life we led. A-billing and a-cooing. For since, alas, a change has come, Dull care my heart is filling, The babies do the cooing now My creditors—-the billing. All Arranged Dunn—Do you propose to pay this bill? Count—Yes, I propose tonight and will poy immediately after the wedding. 1s i comicbooks.com