Judge — January 24, 1920 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Who Seeks Advice Seeks Praise Ry C. L. Fuxsent SHADOW appearea A upon my desk. Wil- liam Harding Thoughtso stood between me and the sun. \lexander did that to Diogenes once. Remem- ber? And then Alex Make a wish and rant it,” and Di Get out of the say's, Vil wht. But William and Alex are very different; and I don’t resemble Di in the yhtest. So I just looked up pleasantly “You know cars,” said “Guess Ma wuz right ‘t Bill. “Tneed youradvice. _ bleys, ‘cavse here's one that ain Will you come out and look at some with me? [am buying one.” I have been through this thing before. But I said “yes."’ Bill might be different. And besides it was hot in the office. “What do you think of the Whoziss?” the m’nute we were out of the office “Well,” [ began cautiousls it seems to me that the Whoziss is a trifle underpowered, and “Aw, not this year’s model. How do ye suspension on the Quince Quintet?” ine! I’m strong for the Quintet. It’s great Bill.” Well, I heard differently And the ste Quince frame is nothing but scrap.” “Possibly that is so.” “Yes, [have it for a fact. How do you feel about began Bill 1 like the sprin, wire wheel “It strikes me that they may not give as good vice as—"" “IT know, but they're so easy riding, and look so snappy. What do you know about the Knockemdead motor? “Well, it's made in quantities, of course. If | were choosing a motor—" “Of course! But you can get parts anywhere. Do you drive a closed “Why, no. I'd rather putona heavy coat in bad weather and—"* “But a closed car is the only thing for winter If you had to choose be- tween a Whoziss and a Quince Quintet, which would you take?” ben a aT That one was easy . “The Quince, by all means,” I assured him * There was a time when you said you'd dic for me, John.” Well, tow do you know I’m not going to. Haven't I been eating your attempts at baking “ZT can’t see what you have against the Whoziss. Here’s the Whoziss agency iow. Let’s drop in for a minute if you don’t mind.” I didn’t and we did William spied a sales- n sitting at a dwarf jesk up in the second bal- cony. “Excuse me just a second,” he apologized. *T want to speak with Mr. Jamieson a minute.” I excused him, and he fled, reaching for his foun- tain pen. \ moment later he re turned, beaming. “Great luck,” he en- thused. “Mr, Jamieson has just got his hands on a Whoziss closed car with wire wheels and a Knock- emdead motor, and he has been holding it for me all day hop'ng I would drop in. I did just right in snapping it up, don’t you think?” “Yeah,” I acknowledged. “Well, thanks just heaps for your advice, Old Man. I'll come around and take you for a ride soon!’” And, having run true to form, he was off! orks droppin’ b ot washed off of him yit!”” got the s The Shoo on the Other Foot In the midst of his eloquent sermon, an infant began to waik, but the minister kept imperturbably and eloquently on \t last the mother of the wailing infant rose to leave the church with it “Don’t go on my account.” stid the minister to her from his pulpit, “your child does not disturb me in the least.” “But you disturb my child,” answered the mother, departing with her wailing infant. Linguisticality The young man of the family was just back from service overseas but not fully recovered from indigestion. Proud mother was debating whether to celebrate his retum with a big spread. “IT know you would just love a chicken dinner with dumplings and sweet pota- , “but I guess toes,” she st you da’sn’t.” “Aw, isch ka bibble,” re torted son with a shrug of the shoulders. “There now, you rascal,” mother chided. “No fair talk- ing back in French.” The Way of all Kids Mother-—Mrs. Howard is going to send her darling, cute Percy to your school. Small Boy—Good! Us fel- lers will percy-cute him all ever since the cook left?” right. 12 comicbooks.com