Judge — January 10, 1920 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| As protective as | a woolen muffler Because Piso’s protects us from chronic coughs by soothing and relieving throat-tickling and throat irritation, It relieves hoarseness, too. Keep it in the house for immediate aid. Piso’s proved its worthiness in grand- mother's day and has been the re- liable, home standby ever since. 30e at your draggist’s, Contains no epiate, Good for young and old PISO’S 1 Coughs & Colds Mrs. Garrigan Lays Down The Law By James Gaweree IS so long since I’ve seen a motive fixture,” Mrs. Grogan declared, “that me eyes are thirsty “TL seen an illeg: gant wan lasht night,” Mrs. Garrigan stated ‘Twas called ‘The Tail Av Two Cities,” wid Dusty Frameup takin’ a duel part: that av Sidney Corrigan an’ Charles Donneley.”” “T knew them fillum companies wud get hard up whin I stayed away,” commented Mrs. Grogan, “but I couldn’t help it, the auld man has been out av work so long. ‘Tis a shame to make a poor bye do two men’s work; the unions ought to interfere. But go on wid your story The scene is laid in France,” Mrs. Garrigan explained. “The Markiss av Everymonday has as many fri’nds asa prohibitionist ina distillery Charles Donneley is his neffy but renounces his titles an’ goes to England to escape taxes. “He mates Lucy Marryet there. Lucy's father is imprisoned in the Bustle - “Ina bustle?" echoed Mrs, Grogan incredu ously “Yis, Mrs. Grogan, in the Bustle. [ll ex plain to ve for I have patience wid your iggor ance. Me daughter bein’ a school taycher sets me far above me naybors though I show unsamely pride in the fact, an’ niver mintion it The Bustle was a big prison where torture was fashionable which name was given to the article av dress because it was first worn there. And now havin’ illuminated your iggorance I will proceed to proceed unless ye corrupt me again “I'm silent as a gravestone,” Mrs. Grogan declared “Yis,”” Mrs. Garrigan replied dryly, as truthful.” “Quit castin’ your inciners an’ just ions on me de eless head an’ go on,” demanded Mrs. an impatiently. “Well, the paple bear all their throubles w resignation—they are willin’ to resign from ivry wan av thim!—till they hear the king is larnin’ tosing an’ that the quanc is takin’ lessons on the pianny. That is too, too much, an’ they’ rise in their mite, dishtroy the Bustle an’ set Dr. Marryet free. “Dr. Marryet’s daughter, who resembles my Mary, widout her good looks, mates Charles Donneley,an’ they both fall in love, which is some fall, too, belave me. Sidney Corrigan falls in love, too, but he has as much av a chanst as the iyster at a church supper. He looks very much like Charles Donneiey but the latther doesn’t do any boastin’ over the fact. Corrigan is under bond to drink up all the whiskey in murky England an’ does his best to live up to his conthract. *Donneley is summoned back to the land av frog legs, flounces an’ fighters. Phere he is caught atin’ saur kraut and pretzels an’ is ar rested as a German spy. Howiver, they find the saur kraut was made by a naygur workin’ for a dago in a Swedish facthory owned by a Jew in the Latin quarter av Salt Lake Cit So he is acquitted. “Hardly had he finished payin’ the jury for their honest, unbiased verdict whin it is dis covered he had German silver in his kitchen. He is rearristed an’ condemned to death Sidney Corrigan sees the spread av the prohibi- tion movement an’ realizes that the swingin’ doors will soon bang shut, an’ afther that life will have no charms for him, orders his last hot toddy, forgets to pay for it, an’ takes Charles Donneley’s place in prison. Afther a hearty breakfast av ham an’ eggs wid a firm pressure on his O'Sullivan heels he ascends the steps av the gelatine—an’ gets it where Lydia Pinkham wears her ruche.” “My, that was a fine thing for him to do,” Mrs. Grogan declared "Twas that same,”’ Mrs. Garrigan agreed ‘Prohibition may not win out afther all. Ye know whilst there's life ther “Dis ye sce anythin’ else?” I did that same. I saw ‘Her Crool Fate’ wid the ladin’ part mistook by Norah Tall- midget. Joe Brooks is generous to a fault—in fact toa lot av thim, He makes about as good a husband as a pro-German does a citizen. His wife—played by Norah—is so schwate an’ nice JUDGE BECOME AN EXPERT Pa, Sarasa es sarin Pesoeat of firme A nip thas Cortited beac A s ~ ‘too a year. We train yous Oharuly by mate taminetione wt etereies ecreunting post, Peete ee ES 1sz-t “The Largest Business Training Institution in ime World” GET WELL-BE YOUNG—GROW TALL This University discovery is the meet Important health invention of tbe century | Itremakes apd reluvenaice the Haman Body it wermal Frese imoigwed and °. she makes the heroines av Sunday school fric- tion look like imitations av Theedy Barrow vampires “Joe works for a company but prefers t work the company. He has such poor eyesight that he can’t tell their funds from his own. “A carping an’ suspicious person wid no soul an’ a hand-me-down suit drops hints about him goin’ to all-the-vear-round resort’ where stripes are fashionable an’ bread an’ water is furnished gratis by a paternal government which sinds cowld chills down Joc’s spine which is as yellow as a copperhead United States sinitor ¢ sinds his wife to plead for him to Cap tain Williams, the head av the company he thried to kape from the dish; ce av dyin’ rich Williams has a repetition that would entitle him to become the hero ay an Elinor Glyn novel but he recognizes the sanctity av the Sunday school an’ absent mindedly drops a tear on his wesktian’ a button in the pin tray mistaking it for a con tribution plate “Emma sees Joe's thrue charackther an’ has as much use for him as a pacifist has for the flag that protects him. She realizes that though marriages may be made in Heaven divoorces are obtained on earth, so buys a ticket for Reno wid number two looming up in the foreground.” “Men do be an awful nuisance,” commented Mrs. Grogan. They do indeed,” Mrs, Garrigan agreed They have cowld feet, snore in their sleep an’ hog the best sates at the picture shows.” jin Phiz De Style—Are they strong for prohibiti¢ your town? Gunbusta—Oh, yes; a man is liable to be arrested for, making a wry face Regarding Subscription and Editorial Matters SUBSCRIPTION OFFICES: Main office—Mrunswtek dine, 223 FUth Avenue. NEW VOKK. “European jon & sons. Ltd. Cannoa House, Breams C., England. “Annual cash ce int the United States, its dependencies. ard Atericn. Canadian Provinces add $0 cents a year tor postage: to ail foreign countries add $1.00 a year, Single copars of present year amd 1918, 10 cent Tors. 20 cents each; 1916, 0 ected with JUDGE ADVERTISIN 1 New Vork; Wig, Boston, Marquette Bldg. Chicago: Henry Bldg. MANGE IN ADDRESS: Subscribe 1 address a8 well ‘i ethe change. Al the number appearing on th fA side of the ads the wray j ere oreict ft takes from ten days to two weeks te 225 Filth Avenue, New will be glad to cons#ier joks mpanied by pent 225 Firth Reuben P. Sei all conrespomdence to 225 Fifth Avenue JUDGE New York City Januar “ly It Daisy to pr crush accor chart “T old x head, you ¢ can r west Is, P ning t me.’ “H hox, of the for A *SI had ¢ He stand the p spran fever’ Th the re “D think lights Fin Daisy chair, father Le sprink “K towar Anc itches restle: “SI Mirec us “y sprink merry Alf came Morri slide waitin “If such | Daisy Atl sql right two “K volle’ Sh betwe near r comicbooks.com