Judge, 1919-12-20 · page 11 of 36
Judge — December 20, 1919 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "More High Costs" by Walt Mason This is a humorous essay-cartoon about the tension between health advice and economic reality during an era of rising living costs (likely early 20th century). **The Setup:** A portly man sits relaxed while three well-dressed figures (appearing to be doctors or health advisors) gesture frantically at him, holding what looks like a diet book or health guide. **The Satire:** Mason mocks physicians who demand he eat cheaply—beans, cabbage, lentils—while avoiding expensive meats and rich foods. The narrator sarcastically argues that achieving health through frugal dieting is economically unreasonable. His logic: maintaining health requires expensive exercise equipment, doctor visits, and gym memberships, making the total cost prohibitive. He concludes it's cheaper to simply die than pursue health. **The Point:** This satirizes the growing cost-of-living crisis and exposes how health advice ignores economic realities for working people. The cartoon critiques doctors for prescribing remedies only the wealthy can afford, while the poor face impossible choices between health and financial survival.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“You Ovucur to Diet, anon Benave Like Some Ovo Hermit in a Cave!” More High Costs By Watt Mason Illustration by EAT too much, the doctors say; I’m always nibbling bales of hay; for steaks of porterhouse and loin I spend entirely too much coin. I haunt the busy marts of trade and buy up jam and marmalade, and pies and doughnuts fair to see; there’s nothing that’s too rich for me The learned physicians say, “By heck! You have an apoplectic neck. On frugal food you ought to fare; your cup- board always should be bare of everything but beans and peas, and cabbageheads, and things like these. You ought to diet, and behave like some old hermit in a cave, who eats a crust of moldy bread, and in the streamlet soaks his head. Instead of which you buy the best of which the market is possest. Some day, on rich provisions fed, you'll yell and tumble over dead. If you would do as we advise, you'd train along with healthy guys, who shun the large and juicy steak, and never have a pain or ache.” The cost of health is too blamed high; it’s better far, my friends, to die, and slumber in a new-laid tomb, than eat cheap turnips when in bloom, and leeks and lentils, prunes and sls and bales of predigested straw. Oh, plant me 'neath a willow tree, down by the sad and sodden sea, where woozy wavelets go blub-blub, if I can’t have good honest grub. With health we all would be in touch; but even health may cost too much. Aman must draw the line somewhere; I draw it at the bill of Raten Barton which classes me with sheep and cows, which on punk ition browse. Tam too fat, the learned men say; I break the scales when I would weigh. And my complexion is a sign that I’ve diseases eight or nine. My nose is red, my feet don’t track, and I have spavins on my back. My style of beauty makes no hit; this much I’m willing to admit. And yet I might be passing fair, and make the women turn and stare. I might be beautiful, they say, and make Apollo fade away; Narcissus, g grace like mine, would presently take in his sign. For I am built in Grecian mold, with port commanding, high and bold, and all I need is to reduce my fat which is of little use And that’s a thing quite simply done; I go out doors and walk and run, and climb tall trees with catlike skill, and carry anvils up a hill, and shovel coal, and quarry rock, and break my back, and pay the doc. The cost of beauty is too high; here in my hammock let me lie, and bask in my accustomed grease, and spend my sunset years in peace. And if I waddle when I walk, and if my face would stop a clock, and if the horses shy at me, why then, odds wound: let it be! Oh, health and loveliness are nice, but what fat man would pay the price? The cost of everything on earth seems three times what the goods are worth.