Judge — December 13, 1919 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Irrepressible, Francis—I'm swearing off on cigarettes to- night Frances—Well, you're pretty extr ing to do with that pac t. What ge you just | bought Francis—Oh, I guess I'll hide it some place where I can't find it—Michigan Gargoyle. Registration Prostration The hours I've spent in doing nought Are as a nightmare’s spell to me; The long, long hours of anxious thought Of Profs. I've tried in v to see. Each class is full; each Prof. will not Extend a welcoming hand to me; And all the units that I've got To date, upon my card, are three! Oh, darned red tape! Oh, endless lines, Oh, aching feet and jumbled head; I pay my always growing fines And know the peac ¢ the dead! —California Pelican, And the Wings Shook Goss—What made her try a dramatic career? Sip—Oh, somebody told her she had stage hands!—Columbia Jester. After the Dance “Darling, can anything ever come between us?” Eavesdropper (to himself) —“Impossibl Pes Froth. Joyous, Such Is Life First Neighbor—Well, the newlyweds’ honey- moon is about ove: Neighbor—How do you know? cighbor—I saw him kiss her this morn- ing with his hat on his head, his hand on the doorknob and his eye on the clock —Pitt Panther. Very Successful Guest—Do tell me, was your daughter a suc- t college ? d Mother—Indced, yes! And did she graduate at the head of Must assuredly that sort of 1 y daughter arried the son of Jo . Vandergould, the iti-millionaire, year.—California Pelican, Sentimental pot in my heart that no colleen can you asa k ‘¢ it tomorrow, sford Chaparral. 's the Said his f Insulted Stranger (to clerk of New York hotel)—Will you put these valuables in the safe for me? Clerk—Have you registered? : od Lord. I'm not staying here. I'm only robbing a few of the guests.” That thar hoss of mine won the last derby.” “Why don’t you enter him ain? I need a new hat."—Princeton Tiger. 23 Irresponsible “I hear all the old booze hounds are drinking shellac now. Must put a pretty good finish on them."—Dartmouth Jack o’ Lantern. Two Flats Jack Sprat preferred one flat; His wife preferred another; They quarreled which one they should take, And she went home to mother! The Worst of Two Evils Booze was ruining your constitution. —Yes, but look what the drys did Constitution of the United States.—Cornell Widow. He Knew Prof. (in. noisy cliss)—Order! Order! Sle Voice from Re "no use, buddy; they ain't got nothin’ but Bevo and soda water around here.—California Pelican, Frenzied Finance He had met THE woman. Despite the fact that he'd only known her two days, it seemed as though he'd known her a lifetime. She had told him that. He had fifteen cen the war tax. She borrowed his ordered a nut sundae. She forgot to order the two spoons as is customary in such cases. He watched her eat it. She never paid him back. MORAL — Never-Float-A-Loan-On-A-Marcel- Wave.—Ohio University Sun Dial. comicbooks.com i