Judge — December 6, 1919 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Don’t Belong to the Great Unfit ‘You se them on every side—men who J] don’t count—men who are losing every chance of happiness and succes in life, some because ehronie ailments are wasting y their eneray: others through loss of Ghetr vitality through early excesses and ‘Gissipations. Has Constipation, Indigestion. Billous- news, of any other chronic ailment got a grip'on YOU? Do you feel that you are Bot as good & man as you used to be: that your former pep and punch and energy is ebbing away? Are YOU slipping gradually Inte that great army of hopeless, uselew, broken-down humanity? If so, take hold act quick, and Fight Your Way Out You can do it, if you will only WIL reelf of your handi~ ean turn the watery f teh, red develop your muscles vital organs, get back EB MANHOOD—you have Jost, and have every chance in the world of beecming a bie. . if you ACT NOW ware stmoneroat Feo Pertect than a Nature fulider Up the world has ever known. Put the machine that Nature Favs, Yo 12 shape fo, do-it work: tive lite as Nature meant Yo be Iived, aad heal aio everything rewult fies my” couraged, broken-down. wrecks w 1 GUARANTEE to improve you 100 Po cent If you will follow my directions for a few months. ft docan't make difference what your present condition is of what brought tolt, Tean and will do what { claim, and without patent medi- ines of drugs of any Rind. Send for My FREE BOOK I bave put the remulte of my lltr’s wort, Ruliding Up Sten, into “PROMOTION AND CONSERVAT ° MEALTH, STRENGTH AND MENTAL ENERGY. It telis you all about Strongtortism. It will show you YOU can rig it of your ailments, bulld yourself strong, energetic man again. In Natu irs F at rth oney to any man who wants to bestrong anf viriie Tout to cover packing and postage. and I'll mall you a copy LIONEL STRONGFORT wtthn reatusr 1129 Stronglert Instit framples of thei YOU cam accomplish. Dr. Isaac Thompson's EYE WATER infamed eyes, and is an ideal strengthens weak, Keep your eyes well wash. Good since ae a and they will help ks ms me Dares JOHN L. THOMPSON SONS & CO., Ted River St, Toy, HY. The Advertising Manager to His Love By Wnutam R. Bener LIX a poorly matched-in multigraph letter, Like a two-inch single-column ad— That's how I feel, and I'll never feel better. Oh, I feel bad! For I met_a fluff like a-color-work folder By Flaxfield Marrish, type-set by hand. Wow! I'll tell any obtuse beholder She’s some twenty-four-sheet stand! My regular rates are down and out. She can have all the space I own, Attention value? I'm mad about That squab; but she— Though she’s boosted ‘my net circulation Until my heart cannot resist The fact that, to me, she owns this nation— I'm not on her mailing-list ! rent-free. For lay-out, copy-work,—say, that creature Is some live trademark, strongly displayed— A regular punchy new. sales-feature— My golden-section maid! But this is the reason my eyes I wipe. She loves an editor down the block And he looks like a thin-shelled electrotype On bad newspaper stock! Say, won't you pipe My startling slogan and help me laugh? your little adjustable logotype— And you're some lithograph. I'll change my plates, I'll shave my face, I'l simply do any old thing for thee- Give you island position or full page space, If only you'll marry me! My silver-print? group” (don’t think I flatter)! But ho—lI'm a car-card you can't see Top-column and next to the reading-matter Is what you are to me— And yet—you shove me b; on the shelf, Chuck my dealer-helps into dusty bins My market-promotion of myself Wouldn't sell a paper of pins! You're, “quality A Bedroom Union Evans Scnenck » hear, in the near future, ation called The Fatigued Ry Raya a new organi Farceurs, When they hamper, bec they will lucers the The foll getting into be burst from their clothes- punce . Pro. Demand scale shall ach per- $20.00" formance 5.00° t time—each 10.00* ng under f. mance additional time ance n clothes hamper (each time) in clothes box (each time) hiding in telephone booth (each time) climbing fire escape (each time attempting to enter oc (each ti ing coat same per- 4.00° 3.00* 3.00° 2.00° 2.00 moving waistcoat . ing trousers . astes 30 cents “waiting time will be charged for every 2 minutes the farceur is concealed, In addition to the above, 10 per cent. of the total wages due will be collected by the em- ployee in recognition of his histrionic ability, uM Famous For 30 Years This delicious hard candy quickly re- lieves coughs ond hoarseness. Speakers and smokers depend upon it for throat comfort. Red Cross Cough Drops are also fine for eating. Children love them. They are made of granulated sugar and other pure ingredients. We originated this trade mark many years before the American Red Cross Society was formed. Get Red Cross Cough Drops today in handy boxes—packed full—six cents. At Drug Stores and Cigar Stores Made By Candy Bros. Mfg. Co., St. Louis 2 The Universal Itch By Bertox Bratey WAY pack itt the days that were staider Ere war made us restless and rude. The bland and obsequious trader In clothing or tinware or food, Was anxious to please you and At moderate prices, his stuff; But now very brusquely he'll tell you Vith manner that's grumpy and rough, “You gimme my prices or beat it And don't ask the why or th The trouble with him is He's just got the full of the “Gimmes” you, how! nmes,”” now! He's Time was when mine host got the hand out To welcome guest to his board. ut now he is there with his hand’ out To take all your hardly-earned hoard; His prices will simply unnerve you He's out for a quickly-made pile And as for his waiters who. se They pattern right It's “Gimme” you hear all ab It’s no use to start any row. What makes your choice sli They've just got the “ They've all g simmes” now after his s It's “gimme” you're hearing from Labor, And “gimme” from Capital, t And everyone’s gouging his neighbor As well as he’s able to do; We kick about toplofty prices Then try to “get ours” just the same, y any old “gimme” devices, We're all but a t of the game! It's “gimme,” and “gimme,” and “gimme,” We don’t ask the wherefore or how; The truth—and it's grim—is S We've just got the “Gimmes,” | We've all got the “Gimmes” now!