Judge, 1919-12-06 · page 10 of 36
Judge — December 6, 1919 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This page contains several unrelated satirical pieces typical of *Judge* magazine's humor: **"He Also Served"**: A joke about a Greek immigrant hot dog vendor displaying a sign claiming "Two Years' Service in the Army." When asked about his military service, he admits he only ran a hot dog stand at Camp Sherman. The satire mocks both the vendor's misleading patriotism and likely the prevalence of such exaggerated claims after WWI. **"Effects of Drink"**: A brief joke where Victor claims liquor shortened his life—not because it harmed him, but because prohibition (then in effect) has made days feel "sixty-seven hours long," suggesting alcohol's absence made time drag unbearably. **"A Christmas Love-Letter"** and smaller pieces ("Nuptial Mathematics," "Peace at Last"): Domestic humor about a bachelor's mounting gift collection, a woman calculating alimony before marriage, and a child seeking parental peace. These reflect early 20th-century middle-class concerns and family dynamics rather than political satire. The cartoons are sentimental or mildly humorous rather than hard-hitting social commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
He Also Served Over the front of a new Greek “hot dog” restaurant, gaily painted, a big yellow sign read: “Two Years’ Service in the Amy.” An inquisitive customer, impressed by the patriotic sugges- tion, asked the proprietor: “Pete, what was your branch and where were you?” “I vas right dere in Camp Sherman from the start. I had a fine hot dog place there,” the food dispenser answered Effects of Drink Victor—I am now convinced that the use of liquor short ened my days. Alfred—What! Turned prohibitionist? Teo ae Wiis Victor—No; but the days seem about sixty-seven hours Drawn by R. B. Foire long now. ForGcoTTeN A Christmas Love-Letter By James Courtney Crattiss D EAREST PHYLLIS: Pray remember, When you're making up the list Of your presents for December (Unless I am to be missed), I } That I've slippers, picture brackets, We Smoking sets of various types, Half-a-dozen smoking jackets, | Thirty-seven meerschaum pipes! ii Twenty patent “Kid Glove Menders,” ] Collar boxes by the score; That each year since I was twenty I've received .a paper-weight ; Have pen-wipers, inkstands plenty, q Forty-‘leven pairs or more! Of embroidered silk suspenders Paper cutters—twenty-cight. = That I’ve Browning and Longfellow By the hundreds—every kind; Shakespeare—black, and blue, and yellow; Milton till I'm nearly blind! + * & “* © * So there’s just one present only That I'm wanting in this year Of my bachelorship so lonely— That’s yourself, my Phyllis dear. — Ae Nuptial Mathematics Flora—Why do you call Dora calculating? Cora—Well, just before the wedding she discussed tHe question of alimony with the bridegroom! Peace at Last Mother—Tommy, come right on into the house! This is the last time I’m going to Drawn by OtrvER HERFORD tell you. Tonemy— That goodness! I can play now wit “Please, sir, I'm secretary of the Young Peepers’ League, and we want t to know if you'll be kind enough to give us a talk tomorrow on ‘The hout being bothered. Abolition of Capital Punishment for Obesity.’” 10