Judge — November 29, 1919 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Pride—“Smith is very proud of his looks, isn't he?” said Brown “Yes,” agreed Jones. “He has more gold in his teeth than he has in the bank."—Knoxville Journal and Trib- une. Getting Even — IVaiter — Porter- house steak—and make it small and tough. Chef (in surprise)—Why small and tough ? Waiter—The guy that ordered it used to be my second lieutenant—The Home Sector. Bolshevik Reasoning—“Comrades, one hour a day is long enough for any man to work cried the bolshevik orator. “That's the truth! Hurrah for Com rade Blevinsky!” shouted the mob. “For eight hours’ pay. orrect! Hurrah! Down with the capitalists!" “And if we destroy the factories comrades, we won't have to work at all.” reat idea! Light the torches and pass around the hombs!"—Birmingham erald. The Sleuth at Work—The detective sat in a corner of the station house exclaiming, “He's a thief, a scoundrel, ‘kleg—" ess noise ther “What are you doing “Why, I'm running down a criminal. —Boston Transcript. said the sergeant Quits—A_suspicious-looking _cus- tomer was boasting to a grocer of the cheapness of 10 pounds of sugar he had bought at a rival shop. “Let me weigh the package,” said the grocer. The other assented, and it was found two pounds short. The man looked perplexed for a mo- ment and then sa I don't think he cheated much; for while he was getting the sugar I p d two tins of con- densed_ milk.” inburgh Scotsman Turned Down—A congressman who is fathering a bill for the deportation of all Bolsheviki said: “[ have no sympathy with Bolshev The country has no sympathy with shevism. Bolshevism will be treated like a tramp. “A tramp rapped on a kitchen door and John, the Chinese cook, appeared promptly, “Gee, bo, I'm hungry,’ whined the tramp, and then he got off a long tale of woe and misery. and misfortune. There were tears in his eyes as he wound up in a broken voice “*So, for the love o’ Mike, give a His Terrible Threat “Vore jag essor i coologi skulle jag pasta att den har satans kycklingen vore klackt ur ett hardkokt “If I were not a professor of biology { should say that this chicken must have been hatched from_a hard boiled ege."—Sondags Nisse (Stockholm) starvin’ man a bite to eat, won't ye, bo? ohn smiled a broad, bland smile. ike fish?” like fish!’ said the tramp aid John, and slammed é is the door.”—IVashington S Clearly Recognized—Mrs. —This paper says that a familiar face and form may be recognized at from 50 to 100 blocks. Mr. Flatbush—Yes, | know; that’s the bill collector.—Yonkers Statesman, Haw, Haw!—“Do you believe in transmigration of souls?” asked the Lit- tle Man. Sure,” replied the Big Man. “Why?” replied the Little Man. s here that there are birds in Well, what about them?” demanded the Big Man. “I was just wondering if those birds are not the spirits of departed. plumb- ers,” replied the Little Man.—Cincinnati Enquirer, Modern Miscreants—“You don't even wait for night to ply your nefar- aS ie 5 swered the metropolitan bandit: “we belleve in’ dayhoht saving, we do."—IVashington Star. “Abused” Labor—“Did you see the bunch of fellers parading for miles from 6 o'clock in the morning till 5 in the evening and then standing up for hours listening to speeches?” asked Mr. Raf- * said Mr, Dolan. “Who are “They're the lads who say they're totally opposed to working more than six hours a day."—San Francisco Chronicle, A Poser . Bobby!” 1 do? You won't let 19 me swear."—London Mail. 11-29-19 comichooks, icom