Judge — November 15, 1919 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by HERMAN PALMER Digest of the World’s Humor Fifty-Fifty—The wife of a military man advertised for a girl to do gen- eral housework, The notice was r 1 to by a particularly neat competent young colored woman. T details were soon in the family, hours » no laundry, how spond dusted, when the ned, ete. s do you expe the housewife “Ah couldn't: wo'k fo’ less a month,” replied the candidate. “But, Mandy J 1 That's too .” replied the “But, yo’ see, mah husband he’s tenant too, and Ah mus’ have that much to keep him goin’,”. York World. Natural Mistake—Gerty Giddigad called the new maid and “If you don't improve, Marie, I shall have to dispense with your services. “But I do my best,” Marie insisted. “Yesterday afternoon you insulted a friend of mine. “Why I never even——” When Uriah Umson called for me with his golf outfit he said you slammed the door in his face.” “Was that a golf bag he had?” es.” “I'm sorry, Miss, but I thought he was an umbrella mender."—Y oungstown Telegram, But Not the University—Mrs. Ed- win was showing Selma, the new Swed- ish maid, “the ropes.” “This,” she said, on’s room, He is in Yale.” Selma's face lit up with sym- pathetic understanding. “My brudder ban there, too.” “Is that so? What year?” . he ban got no year, you Axel, sixty days Marksmanship “Had a fine week-end. Went out shooting at Tom's place. “Did you hit it?"—Bulletin (Sydney, Australia). Slight Misunderstanding — With view to letting nothing escape her vi ilance, Mrs. ‘Muggins cross-examined the prospective housemaid, cook and general help all in one. “You are quite certain you know your duti thoroughly she said, after deciding to engage her. “You will answer the door to visitors, and wait at table, and-—' “Oh, yes, mum,” said Mary Jane. “I'm quite sure I will know how to go about them. Mrs. Muggins was on the point of turn- ing away when a thought struck her, and she_ suddenly swung round to the girl. “Oh, by the way, do you know your way to announce? “Well, mum,’ ” replied Mary Jane, in- jocent ‘m not sure about that, but Tthi k ‘T know my weight to a pound or so!"—Rehoboth Sunday Herald. 1s Chicken Feed — Lost —Gray_ cloth pocketbook, $3,000 in change. Gazette Reward.—Colorado Springs Gacette. No Joke—“Riches sighed the Old Fogy. = ybe,” replied the Grouch, “But you never heard of an instance in which they took a man to Heaven.”— Cincinnati Enquirer. Justification—“Mr, Blowster, I'm compelled to ask you for a raise in sal: have wings ‘Compelled,’ sir? Nonsense. What do you mean by ‘compelled’ ?” “Well, if you could hear a dictagraph record of the way my wife talks to me about my present income, you'd unde stand.”"—Birmingham Age-Herald. Waiting for Cold Weather—A young Swede in South Dakota who had been sent out to collect bills for the general store returned with this report: Yon Brown, he say he pay when he sell his wheat; Ole Oleson, he say he pay when he sell his oats; and Yon Yonson, he say he pay in Yanuary.” “In January,” repeated the proprietor, surprised. “Why he never set a date before. Are you sure he said January Ay tank it bane Yanuary, He say it ‘bane dam cold day when you get your moncy."—American Legion Weekly. Paying Our Debts—Thomas W. La- mont ina recent luncheon speech di- gressed from his theme to tell of som thing he saw in France which clearly i lustrated the eagerness of the American doughboy to fulfill his. mision abroad. One day he saw a battalion of American soldiers returning from the trenches, wearing a haggard look and covered with mud. At the head of the proces- sion marched a lad carrying a banner the following inscription: “We paid our debt to Lafayette, now who the hell else do we owe?”—IWall Street Journal. comicbeokete om