Judge, 1919-11-15 · page 12 of 36
Judge — November 15, 1919 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Gross Deception" and "The Little Checks" **"Gross Deception"** is a tall tale about Arkansas boys who witness men burying something suspicious. When the boys' fathers dig it up expecting stolen whiskey, they discover money and Liberty Bonds instead—the real theft. The joke: the men are outwitted by a "gross deception," expecting contraband but finding legitimate valuables, which angers them more than discovering their stolen goods. **"The Little Checks"** satirizes modern urban inconvenience. The speaker accumulates paper claim tickets from garages, laundries, jewelers, and baggage services—each representing a new service dependency. The anxiety is losing or confusing these tags, making modern life absurdly bureaucratic. It's social commentary on how emerging service industries fragment daily tasks, burdening people with administrative paper rather than simplifying life. Both pieces reflect early 20th-century anxieties: rural versus urban culture and the complications of modernization.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
rawn by H. A. PEDERSEN Tue Original Funny Cotumn Gross Deception By Tom P. Morcan night,” related a resident of that portion of Arkansas. “Along in the shank of the moonlit evening a bunch of small boys, going home from a birthday party, seed a motor car stop, and some fellers get out of it and tote something down into the holler. The boys Injuned along and watched the fellers dig a hole at the foot of an overhanging tree, bury whatever it was they'd brung, and mark the spot with a cross on the tree. As soon as the men got back in their car and driv’ away the boys lit out in different directions for their homes. In mighty nigh no time a-tall yur came men—dads and uncles of the boys, and gents that was staying over night at their houses, and so on—with spades and one thing and another, and began to dig, and smack their mouths while they done so. “And, then, lovand behold, instead of the whiskey they expected to find they dug up a box containing nuthin’ in the living world but a mess of money and Liberty Bonds that the fellers had stole from a bank. You never seed men as mad in all your life. They shore would have lynched them infernal swindlers if they could have found 'em!” The Little Checks By Stricktanp GILLILan a ri sad thing happened down Fiddle Creek way tuther I TOOK my chugging motor to an up-to-date garage, And I got a little check to carry ‘round. ‘Twill help, perhaps, to sidestep conversational barrage— So I have a little check to carry ‘round. I put it in my bill-fold with a lot of other junk— A claim check from a baggage man to identify my trunk, A red slip that the Pullmans say will get a man a bunk— Yes, I have a little check to carry ‘round. I took my busted time-piece to a jeweler, to mend, got a little check to carry ’round. If you should lose this tag, your ownership would end,” So I have a little check to carry ‘round. I took a filmy shirt-waist to a tuckery one day To have it tucked and hemstitched in the up-to-datest way. The girl said, “Here's your ticket—keep it till you come to pay”— Lo! Another little check to carry ‘round! Now I'm frightened as the mischief lest I lose them every one— All those little checks I have to carry 'round— Or that I may get them twisted when the various jobs are done— Jobs for which these little checks I carry ‘round. If I gave the tag for tucking to the garage man, he’d say— Well, the printer wouldn't print it; and the tucker would get gay If I offered her the car-check or the Pullman right-of-way— Oh, the little checks we have to carry ‘round! Complimentary Gertrude—Dear me, I am always saying the wrong thing. Mildred—Well, don’t let it worry you, dear. All agree that you are just the one to say it. Wanted a Change She—You horrid thing! The idea of your kissing me when you aren't even engaged to me! He—Oh, a fellow gets tired kissing the girls he’s engaged to. 12 comichooks.coup