Judge — October 25, 1919 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

language has always been my greatest asset. Prof —C take this dictionary down- stairs, ther State Froth. Identified Who is the man that wears a smile, Upon a beaming face, And hopes to dress his wife in style, And gain a social place? O, that my sweet one is the soul Who caters at a spread, He skimped the salad and the roll, He sliced a@ lemon in the bowl Instead of tea—cash is his goal, We starve while he is fed. Who is that man with face so sad, Whose eyes are brimmed with woe, Who is that melancholy lad, What makes him mutter so? To him, my one, fell the lot Of managing the spread, Te’. d to ce on, is he not? If thoughtful you could hit on what Strange phrases fill his head. —Harvard Lampoon. Boyle Revised Why is chemistry like love? Because the lower the gas, the greater the pressure—Mass. Tech. Voo Doo. The Meeting Moonlight, night of romance, Like the nights we all have known; While, ever closer, Fate Was drawing each to each, alone, Why, they met but oh the thought That never more they'll meet again— For she—well, she was a Jersey cow And he was a passing train. —Nebraska Awgwan, Joyous, Points of View Anyone who does not marry is a_ fool. onsider the picture. My wife and I be- fore the fire. ¢ is setting curled on the sofa like a dear little kitten. The dim light from the fire is reflected in the ripples in her hair. She is smiling and her eyes are half closed and. sparkling derful she is. We say nothing—are too happy for words, Here is Heaven on earth. Anyone who marries is a fool. Consider the picture. My wife and I before the fire (coal ten dollars a ton). She is sitting curled on the sofa like a cat (which she is). The dim light from the fire shows quite clearly that most of her hair is false. She is frowning and her eyes are half closed and threatening. How tiresome she is! say nothing—there is nothing t y. Here is Hell on earth— Princeton T The Prof.’s Jest Student (translating) —The-er-er-er-man-er- jon’t laugh, gentlemen—to rrr is human—VYole Record. Ain’t It a Fact That when you know one swell girl to take to the Hop, you are unable to go—well, for various reasons? That the leading man in the Opera doesn't do the part as well as you could have done it? That you always know everything in a course except what the prof, asks for the exam, questions? That the Hop queens can't beat little Maggie, in the old home town?—Michigan Gargoyle Arguments for a college education to the contrary notwithstanding.—California Pelican, 26 Irresponsible “What ever made you propose to me?” “I wanted to be different from other men.” —Yale Record, That’s the End Full—What's the matter with that big fish playing guard? Back—Why—er just got mixed up with the tackle—Stanford Chaparral. Unique There was a young man so benighted Who never knew when he was slighted He went to a party And ate just as hearty As if he'd been really invited. —Nebraska Awgz Some Huskies, These Modern Girls All in one evening she suffered the follow- ing, while dancing with me: *The hall is so hot, I'm cooked.” “I'm crazy about dancing, was petrified, when [ saw him.” “That light is so glaring it makes me blind.” “Can't you shut the window? stiff. “You make me sick.” “I nearly had a fit, when he told me about that_joke.” “That last partner I had drives me insane.” “L simply died laughing. “I was perfectly dumb.” “I'm so tired, I'm just dea Then, when I looked at her, she seemed as alive and healthy as ever—Stanford Chap- erral. I'm frozen So Exclusive Now “Why do they call it the prom?” “Mere process of elliptical erosion. Orign- nally the gathering was so promiscuous, don't yer know."—Michigan Gargoyle.