Judge — October 11, 1919 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ers Iomommaenpongpmeoonenw dean Miranpa: Have ye been to Lon- don and to Paris and all them swell places, Seth? (Setu nods) Been to Arabia and the Indies? (Setn nods) Seen the Bazaars and all such (Setu nods) Did ye bring any of them fancy laces and silks and jim-cracks back with ye, like ye prom- ised? (Sern shakes his head) Hiram: Been to China and the Orient and sich? (Setu nods) Didn’t git enny of them rubies and sapphires and precious jools, did ye, stoi like ye promised? (Setu shakes his head) Miranpa: Seth, ye didn’t see any of them houris and shameless wimmen in Egypt and Turkey, did ye? (Setu shakes his head) Hiram: See much o? Africa? (Setu nods) Did ye bring back enny of that there gold and diamonds from there? (Setu shakes his head) Didn’t bring enny money either, did ye, Seth? (Sern shakes his head) Didn't bring back nothin’, did ye, Seth? (Sern shakes his head) (Hiram rises, puts out his pipe, resumes his wraps, bundles up Setu and carries him out of the door again) Miranna: Where be ye goin’, Hiram? Hixam: Goin’ to throw him back into the Atlantic Oshin. Curtain Not Hiram Bunptes Up § Hist Out or Applicable By Tos P. Morcan “ ATING should be done with the utmost deliber- ation,” didactically began the Presiding Elder. “Plenty of time should be taken for proper mastication. necks if they didn’t show proper respect for the clergy, you'd be starving to death at the first quarter post while they were coming in on the home stretch, sweeping everything before “em.” The Vase By | HE crowd was thick around the Fifth Avenue Shop’s plate-glass window. Passers-by, halted by the jam, tried to work to the inner circle to see the attraction. Voices were heard exclaiming in rapture: Vhat a unique display! daring! A single. object, unrelieved! What genius thought of it?” Garcory Harrswick Such “Only a vase—but-what a vase! Such purity of line “And the color! What artistry! Post-futurism at its highest! See those streaks, those splashes: “Wonderful! Colossal! Beautiful!” Just then the man who had been touching up the office- partitions in the back of the shop came up and took his paint- can out of the window. eTH AND CARRIES THe Door A Very Short Story Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones were neighbors. Mr. Smith had a garden, and Mr. Jones kept chickens. Now, can you see the possibilities? Well, they didn’t come off Mr, Smith had an only son, and Mr. Jones had an only daughter. Can you imagine what happened? Well, it didn’t The year was a dry one, and Mr. Smith’s garden did not materialize. Mr. Jones’ daughter came over to sympathize, and she did it so well that Mr. Smith, who was a widower and well fixed, married her. Such is life—real life Busting the Pump ng the heart of the world” may be done in more ways than by re- “Breakir Every mouthful of meat should be chewed at least forty times, and “That's an- other of them there fancy the’- ries, Parson, that look mighty well in a copy book, but won't work in real life,” re- plied Gap John- son, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. “If you set down in an eating match with my fourteen children, and I hadn't told ’em of Nations Cove nant Itmay be dene by turning the wine in the blood of the world’s body into water. It may be done by tight moral lac- ing Or it may be broken by a too continuous pound- ing of rhetorical wind on the solar plexus. T jecting the League | | Tedty Barber tonic, sir? Hair Drown by Ly C, Puirew Fatuer axp Son? in advance that I'd break their Customer —Ye “Tnsideorout? Yes, Quite Ricut coMmiechbooksseom