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Judge, 1919-10-11 · page 10 of 36

Judge — October 11, 1919 — page 10: what you’re looking at

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Judge — October 11, 1919 — page 10: Judge, 1919-10-11

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# Dining-Car Golf: A Humorous Parody of Outdoor Golf This article satirizes the elaborate etiquette and pretension surrounding golf by applying golf terminology to the mundane activity of eating in a dining car on a train. The "sport" involves using dining utensils (irons, niblics) to navigate food—green peas become "the goal," soup is "the soup," and coffee is referenced as part of the course. The satire mocks golf's exclusivity and complexity: the author notes dining-car golf requires no waiting lists, special clothes, or Colonel Bogey (golf's personified standard of excellence). The illustrations show diners attempting to eat while the train curves and jolts, creating humorous situations. The joke targets early 20th-century golf culture's snobbishness and arbitrary rules. By treating dinner service with golf's overwrought vocabulary—discussing "grip," "approach," and caddy advice—the piece ridicules how pretentious and inaccessible golf had become to ordinary Americans, suggesting even common eating could be treated as an exclusive sport requiring expert instruction.

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D ning-Car Golf—How to Play It By Hany Invinc Suumway OW many of us really know anything about dining-car golf? Not many. And yet it is at once the most fascinating and perilous sport. has thrills in it that its big brother, outdoor golf, ver thought of. And it is decidedly worth while. » begin with there are no tedious stymies connected ith its participation, such as waiting-lists, nominating committees and the say-so of a dear friend. Anybody can play. You may wear the same clothes; it is not necessary to wear shoes holding half the available kes in the world. Nor need you wear knee-high stockings. A bow-legged player fears not dining-car golf. And best of all, that old kill-joy, Colonel Bogey, is not present. As there are no books of etiquette published on this little written-of sport, a few points might be welcome to those who would like to play and also to those who have played and who have found the foozling rough going. A child can learn, once the knack is mastered. Th This department of the sport is extremely di ficult Not only does it require a certain knack, but circum- stances play an important part in the successful ap- Indeed, the writer has seen experts, out and proach out pros, who foozled dreadfully owing to their stan being upset by a curve in the road. So the novice should take heart. The iron should be grasped not too firmly, and yet complete control should at all times be manifest. Perhaps it could be better described by calling the grip one of tenacious abandon. If the general motions Drawn by Doxato McKee Hang it, Marcella, vay you want it if you of the wrist should emulate those of the ankles of an esthetic dancer, a satisfactory hold might be secured. We will suppose that the duty of the iron is to convey a quota of green peas to their goal. The iron should be kept in a fairly level position. With the elbow held poised against a shock, make the approach smartly, ignoring the goal. The player must keep his eye on the iron and its load. Never mind if a tine picks up a divot in the face; the damage can be repaired later. Playing the Soup Many players get mired in a tangle of theories re- garding the proper iron in playing the soup. Of all the difficult things to play, soup is perhaps the hardest; itis soloose. You cannot spear soup as you can fish or meat. It must be cradled in the bowl of the big niblic. Never use the small niblic on the soup. One reason is that you cannot get the proper volume to the stroke. The other reason is that later on in the game you may be embarrassed when the exigencies of the game call for the small niblic for the conveyance of the coffee. A little word right here. In outdoor golf you do not expect the hole to get up and meet the ball. Then one should not think this custom applicable in dining- car golf. The use of a vacuum cleaner is not only poor sport, but is frowned upon by the rules committee. The Caddy—How to Treat Him and When Always take the advice of the caddy. He knows more about the game than you do. If he recommends