Judge — October 4, 1919 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Irrepressible, The Modern Noah ] NoAu played a hunch when he built himself ’ an ark— He simply had a feeling that the days to come looked dark, So he labored and he hammered, and at last he won his bet, For he was good and ready when Mount Ararat went wet I've got another hunch, such as Noah kad of yore, That the country’s going dry again, just as it did before; So I think that I will have to beat the game in Noah's way By launching me a houseboat on San Francisco Bay. For as Noah liked the dryness, I like the coun- try wet; So out beyond the Farallones I'll wait until I get Some modern homing pigeon—oh, gladdest words of pen!— To tell this modern Noah that the country’s wet again. That the time to fit your houseboat for the oceanic cruise Is now, if not much sooner, for we've said fare- well to booze; And unless you crave the desert, just lay your liquor by; I tell you, Noah taught us what to do if things went dry. —California Pelican, Neither Are We No. 1—Going to the dance tonight? No.2—Nope What size shi you wear nell Widoze Good Climbers but the sisters are all pretty high steppers.” —Sianford Chaparral. But Not Certain She wore a band around her neck, Some powder on her nose, And now that you do mention it, I think she wore some clothes. Penn State Froth Big Bill Bates (at a Spring Day dance)—May I cut in, please? Mary Smith (from Yapp’s Crossing, facetiously)—I am awfully particular with whom I dance. B. B. B.—Well, you can see I'm not troubled much that way, myself.—Cornell Widow. Irresponsible The Course of True Love RATING a commendable man, The serpenty, enticing ways are ‘The femaie of the species beholds he natural results come—cabs, flowers, dances, theaters. PRATING—No explanation needed. Both “You are the very, GRATING—This comes when the true na- tures are found out. HATING—The “other woman” and another hark! His 1 front porch again. G—This is put in for euphony. (11 must be winter time.) NG—The old gag, “Amo te,” “Ich footsteps liet re WAITING not sleep; digestion {eils him. His tread is feeble, heavy is his heart ALLEVIATING—She doctors his condition by a short “You bet! TING—She immediately grabs NG—The parson gets his due. ENDETH TRUE LOVE —Tennessee Sour Ot. No, You Simp! Newman Club—The policemen’s clubs have been abolished. Y. Mf. C. A.—You mean zo more weapons? Newman Club—No, you simp, no more saloons.—NV. ¥. Cap and Bells Why? Stude—l_ wonder why so many girls are wearing long skirts again? ‘tewed—i © guess they en’t any good reasons for ring short ones.—Penn State Froth, In Latin Class Powder From Both—Silence. From Him—Is it all over? From Her—No, just a little bit on your shoulder.—IWil- liams Purple Cow. Ly ed Dav Berore Yestexvay, Yestexvay, Tooay, Tomorrow —Mass. Tech. Voo Doo Freshman translating “ por tamus”: Now “mus” means “we” and “porta” means “gates,” but I thought “we gates” was German.—Recerd.