Judge — September 13, 1919 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Irrepressible, She Shook for Him He asked her if she'd let him have a kiss, I've heard them say She shook her head. He said, “I've got a solitaire, young miss.” But I've heard say She shook her head. ' |The parson asked, “Love, honor, and obey?” | But still, they say She shook her head. ‘And as they're living happy to this day, Please tell the way She shook her heatl—Stanford Chaparral. 22? She—Do you want to start the victrola? She—It's about time you started something! —Williams Purple Cow. Sarcasm Waitress—Here’s your shortcake, sir. Testy Diner—Y ou call that shortcake? it out and berry it.—Michigan Gargoyle. Take A Star Act —Widow. Tue Answer She—Do you know. why I won't marry you? He—I can’t think. She—You guessed it.—Stanford Chaparral. Get Him a Coffin The King—I must haye gold, you imbecile! Cough up! Prime Minister—But your majesty, the cof- fers are emptv.—Michigan Gargoyle. Satisfaction Peg—No, I wouldn't think of marrying you and you'll find very few girls who will Rupert—Ah—but Ud be perfectly. satisfied with a few!—Cornell Widow. The Emergency Cantrell—I think I'll go to the prom as a stag. Cochran—Why do that? Cantrell—I_ haven't any Tiger. doe.—Princeton His Intention When I die And pass away, I'm going to donate To this school A Co-ed Who doesn’t say “L've enjoved the evening so much,” But instead Bites her initials on your chin. —Stanford Chaparral. It Paid “Doctor, was the operation successful?” “ Absolutely. ered the bill.”"—Penn Stave Froth. His life insurance exactly cov- Irresponsible , Jester Wants Work Wonders When first I lyricized Charlotte, In limpid lays to praise her name, She up and told me she was not That kind of dame. And then I found lyric excuse For eulogies of Helen, but She simply said something was loose Up in my nut. I’ve sung my songs to Grace and Lou, To Gertrude, Dorothy and Kay. . . ‘Their one remark was just, “ How do You get that way?” Will no one listen to me while I play upon my magic flute? Because no Syrinx deigns to smile, Must Pan be mute? So I insert this ad you see, Which scarce needs an interpreter: WANTED: A maiden to let me Write pomes to her. —Columbia Jester Educated Son—Isn't that girl's bathing suit décoletté, dad? ‘ Farmer Father—My eyes ain't nowhere so good as they uster be. Wait ‘til | put on my specs. Be durned if | can make ,the thing out without em.—Yale Record.