Judge — August 30, 1919 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Right on the Face of It Sam—Say, John, there's some dirt on your mug.—World (London). MATRI- MONY An Extremist — “Isn't Nexadore’s wife rather fond of an argument?” “Is she? Why, that woman is so fond of an argument she won't even eat any- thing that agrees with her.”’—Boston Transcript. Not An Authority—The young man had been married just a week, but had commenced to spend his evenings at the club. He was enjoying a friendly game of whist when the question of marriage was mentioned in a casual way by one of the company. This remark brought the young man to a sense of his position, and, noticing an old man across the table, he thought he would extract from him a little in- formation. “Mr. Oldwed,” said he, “how long does a man have to be married before his wife agrees with him in every- thing?” “I'm sorry, my boy,” replied the man, “very sorry, but you'll have to ask someone else. You see, I've only been married 40 years.”"—Washington Star. 20 DOCTORS g Kismet—A well-known _ physician, who is inclined to convivial intercourse with his fellow clubmen and has also a deserved reputation for wit, did not leave his favorite armchair in his favorite win- dow the other afternoon until late in the evening, the attraction being a favorite brand of Scotch, which was running low —and July 1 in the near background “TL have missed,” he said glancing at his note book and rising slowly from his chair, “eight appointments this after- noon. But as four of them represent cases so serious that no physician could could cure them and the other four have constitutions so strong that no physician could kill them, T shall not worry.” He resumed his seat and picked up the \ evening newspaper.—New York Evening Post. No More Malaria—“Never hear about malaria out this way any more.” “No,” answered Uncle Bill Bottletop. “Malaria gets terrible unpopular when there is nothing to cure it with except quinin.”—Washington Star. A Friendly Plot—“You will need a trained nurse for Mrs. Jibway.” “Certainly, doctor. I'll attend to that right away,” said Mr. Jibway. “Speaking as an old friend of the fam- I can tell you how to hasten Mrs. age the prettiest nurse you can a little attention in “Il have Mrs. Jibway —Birmingham Age- the sick room. W on her feet in a jiff Herald. Standard Traffi “Did you have a seat or did you stand, in the tramcar?” “Neither, | hung!"”—Fieigende Blactter (Munich).