Judge — August 30, 1919 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

xy PaLwen Judge Editorials Revusen P. Sreicuer, oun A, Stercuer, President Penriton Maxwett, Editor Among Our Contributing E Gererr Burcess as Moxtcomery Frac Ecus Parker Butter /AWRENCE Fettows Artnur Crawroro Eat Frourr Horr Cror Joux Grvetus Besjamin De Casseres Dox Heroro Wattrer De Maris Rea Levin J. Al Watorox, Literary E Haututos, Art Dir Managing bd Grant E. Lawros Mackatt, A. E. Rottaurr, Treasurer ors are the Following Wiurren Joxes E,W. Keone Orsox Lowett Axcus MacDoxatt Watr Masox Dovato McKee Roserts SARKA Custos Scottarp Catvert Surru A. B. Warker Evcexe Zimerwan (“Zi”) Cue Dec HE trouble with America is fatty degenera- tion of the menu. As long as we kept to the melting-pot we were all right, but now we have the melting-pot-roast. All the nations of the world have now found self- determination through our bill of fare except America. Once in the dim dead days beyond recal!—or refer- endum or other modern device—we had food in America and real cooks. We labored under many difficulties, of course; we hadn't learned about paté de foie gras or caviar then. And it is surprising to know how many people tottcred through life and reached the allotted span without once knowing that there was any higher gustatory delight than Boston baked beans. Every wave of immigration has washed up some new names for our mcnus until a diner must be either a linguist or an adventurer. The French and the Italians and the Germans and the Greeks and the Russians and the Lord knows how many other races of Europe have moved over and brought their season- ings with them. The first settlers of this country came here with a prayer book in one hand and a rifle in the other; our latest colonists have come with a cook-book in one hand and a mixing spoon in the other. We used to think of Uncle Jonathan as a lean bucolic in loose and flapping clothes; today, if we pictured him correctly, his portrait would be that of a corpulent fre- quenter of restaurants, with greedy eyes gazing out from between rolls of fat, one who believes that “home cooking” is merely an phrase. ‘Today we have a French =NERATE DouGunut AND Oruers Drawn by Jeia Dasinus Anp Baccuus Has Become Bric-a-Brac maitre in an Italian restaurant owned by a Hebrew try- ing to teach Greek cooks how to prepare caviar for American palates. True to our New England ancestry, we asked for a doughnut in a restaurant the other day; the waiter brought something round and soft and evil looking. We investigated it carefully; in the center of a pudgy mass of dough reposed some jam. We turned our ear to the northeast and listened to the dull roar of ten generations of New England cooks turning in their graves STS idea that Lincoln was Jupcer revised her an inferior Wilson. England has * It is better to miss two opportunities than to find one disaster. eee The tragedy of marriage is the fact that a human being has but one life to live and it is awful to have to live it with a fool. There is always divorce, but that is merely getting rid of a dressmaker’s bill for the sake of a lawyer's bill. > eee 2.75% Dare we select it and break the heart of the half-world? see The only thing left to get drunk with now is power. see Perhaps the League of Na- tions is a piece of sarcasm at the expense of Tennyson. ee It is pitiful when ability is far ahead of aspiration, and itis ridiculous when aspiration is far ahead of ability.