Judge — August 23, 1919 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1, In Summer I get out at dawn And gambol with the gentle Fawn A Dinner of Herbs By D. B. Vax Buren | ©; HENRY,” moaned Mrs. Grimley, with a face of tragedy, “Hilda left this afternoon without a word of waming “T am glad to hear it,” remarked Grimley, unmoved, “that girl was a menace not only to the crockery but to the whole theory of social dynamics. For some time past, the tendency in maids to leave has been increasing until to- day, under the law of the acceleration of ten- dencies, any maid who stays more than a month in one place is a paradox. The persistence of Hilda in hanging on here over six weeks threat- ened to destroy the fabric of socicty.” “I know nothing of that,” retorted Mrs Grimley, “but I do know that she destroyed a perfectly good lemon meringue pie before she went. She threw it on the floor, face down, and tore off in a rage just because I told her she ought not to wear a dirty apron when waiting on table, It’s outrageous!” “Indeed it is,” agreed Grimley, soothingly “much like throwing a dead cat into a prayer mecting—amusing, but scandalous. However, it’s idle to get fussed. We are simply in the fell clutch of a tendency, and sensible people Sw . pe at at aeRO yt +. These creatures do the best the; Heifer do not waste invectives on tendencies. One might as well quarrel with the equate “Tt is all well enough for you to take it lightly,” commented Mrs. Grimley, have to bake and boil and sweep, and you never could sce dust, anyway. I could write my name on any table in the house this minute!” “One advantage of a liberal education,” observed Grimley, politely, “but you should learn, my dear, that the true philosopher takes matters lightly and light matters seriously, thus keeping life on an even keel despite the utmost malice of fate. And in this particular instance, there is balm in Gilead. When I think of the awful temper of that girl, I am inclined to agree with Solomon that a dinner of herbs and contentment . And you know you loathe spinach snapped Mrs. Grimley, “but this much 'll tell you. Unless you can manage to take se- riously the serious business of peeling potatoes, you will find where philosophy lands its vo- tarics. Some are on the kitchen table. The rest are where Hilda threw them. If they're ready when I come down, dinner will be only an hour late; if they aren't, I wash my hands of all responsibility. I wish you would wash the potatoes in- stead—” began Grimley, but the lady had you don’t serious But I'd prefer a Gentleman vanished into a region whither Grimley did not presume to follow her. . . . “It has been said, my dear,” observed tentatively pushing a chop around his plate, cookery, as in most arts, a first- amateur is equal to most professionals.” You needn't be leading up to anything,” replied Mrs. Grimley, suspiciously, giving up the potatoes as a bad job, “I detest cook- ine!” “Oh, certainly, certainly,” agreed Grimley, “my remark had no bearing on the present situ- ation and I did not intend to imply that you n cook. I was merely generalizing.” “Indeed!” said Mrs. Grimley, coldly, “there appears, then, to be a lack of agreement be tween what you said and what you i It is a good thing that I can usually you mean, when you happen to mean anything. regardless of what you say, otherwise, I might occasionally lose my temper.” “Anyhow, I give your cooking credit for one thing,” continued Grimley, carelessly running past the danger signal, “it is hygienic! Char coal is notably cleansing to the digestive tract, and taken as medicine, these potatoes—" Oh, don’t be so fearfully fussy about your eating!” broke in Mrs. Grimley, “if the pota- comicbooks.com