Judge — August 16, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drven by Hensas Pauses Digest of the World’s Humor | HELP Everyday Conduct—The applicant for job of office-boy presented his cre- dentials in a manner that bespoke his entire confidence that the position would be his. The sourlooking old gentleman at the head of the establishment read the paper carefully and then surveyed the boy searchingly “It is certainly a very nice thing for you to have these recommendations from the minister of your church and your Sunday-school teacher,” said he, “and 1 must admit that you look honest All the same, I'd like to have a few words from someone that knows you on week- days.” —London Tit-Bits. “Now, my must Advance Information dear,” said Mr. Crosslots, “we avoid contradicting the new hurting her feelings in any way.” replied the patient wo- man. “I'll phone the employment agency right away and find out what her views are on the League of Nations.” Washington Star. coo! “OF course,” Tam in need 1 would pay Big Chance—Butcher of a boy about your size you 10 shillings a week. Applicant—Will | have a chance to rise? Butcher here at 4 every morning. Citizen: Oh, yes; I want you to be Ottawa Evening Gosh!—“I saw a remarkable play when I was in New York,” said Bink: What was remarkable about it? asked Jinks. Phere was a butler in it and his name wasn't James,” replied Binks.—Cincin- nati Enquirer. Knicker—Well my dear? Knicker—Can the League for our neighbor from offering Neu Query Mrs Peace keep your cook a dollar a month more? Vork Sun He Took It the 1 when the boss had told me | was ice of work.” “Twas put to work on to have my ch “He did?” “At He said, * American I understood him that way Take your pick.’”— Baltimore Approval—* After all,” said the phil osopher, “what we really struggle for in this life is the good opinion of some one else: “That's right,” declared Mr lots. “My wife and I are both terribly worried for fear our new cook won't like us."—Washington Star. Cross- Danish Politics Redaktor de int D'Ulrr. Stauning 0 Borghjerg har enstemmig erklaer har at indsende mod Barberernes § Minister Stauni have declared th Sunday’ of and Editor Borgbierg hey are not opposed to barbers.—Exlex Attractive, Anyway — Patience - Have you read Penman’s latest book? Patrice—Ves, | was induced to do so from the way it was advertised “How did you like it?” “The book is not written nearly as well as the advertisement.” Of course not, Penman didn’t write the advertisement.”’"—Yonkers Statesman. Valuation—*" How is neighbor Flub- dub’s son making out as an artist?” “Doing fine. He has just finished his first picture which he tells me he values at $5,000,"—Kansas City Journal. Almost Persuaded—“ You believe in art for art’s sake?” “Ido,” replied the eminent tragedian, ‘but when an unappreciative public forces genius to subsist on beef stew L have serious thoughts of prostituting my talents in the movics.”—Birming- ham Age-Hera: “Why don’t those accumulate more Dear Simplicity grand opera money?"" “Their expenses are heavy stars seen one wearing a milkmaid’s costume that must have cost two thou- sand bones.”"—Kansas City Journai. Old-Fashioned—It appears that not long ago, at a gathering of artists, a cer- tain futurist painter approached Louis Wain and sa “Why do you always draw cats, cats, nothing but cats? “Tt is true that I draw cats,” returned Mr. Wain, fixing the futurist with his eye, “but at least I do not call them landscape: Pearson's Weekly, comicbooks.com