Judge — August 16, 1919 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Deven by ROB. Pricen A Thesis on General Aspects By Waxken Woovacrr Lew: YALE student whom I once befriended told me that for five days he had plugged at a three- hundred-word thesis on the letter A. Where- upon, I loaned him the quarter and abandoned all hope of ever regaining it. Small chance of a man who could write three hundred words on the letter A, ever stooping to such small deeds as returning a borrowed quarter. Webster tells us that a thesis is a formation in ad- vance of a proposition to be proved. All right. He says itisa proposition. Fairenough. He says it is a proposi- tion which one advances and offers to maintain by argument against objection. Great! But where does it lead us? I am still wondering why my friend from Yale wrote three hundred words on the letter A. Why did he not, instead, write a thesis on general aspects? Then he would have accomplished something. The general aspects in the case are, is—oh, what’s the use? Bill Smith’s wife is the general aspect, and she’s some general. Also, she is some proposition, and the formation of the proposition, even in the be- ginning, was large. And Bill’s only a little man. Still, he offered to maintain her, and still does, only not by argument against objection. There is objec- tion, but Bill does it, and the argument isn’t worth considering. Now we come to the thesis. Born,certainly; for- mation, natural; weight, never attempted; temper- ature, passionate; _ hair, color of eyes; eyes, color of hair; complexion, dis- appointing; maintenance, assured; outstanding fea- tures, mouth; proposition, tough. Some aspects! Bill is head clerk ina Drown ty Nowwas Axmmosy large drug emporium near Mr. Shy Times Square doing a big Miss Bold- it | took this pailful o° sand business in. stationery, tickets. His salary, straw while meagre, was sufficient, and hat bleach and theatre its formation in advance, all reports to the contrary notwithstanding, wa pects. the aspects. salary, by right of carning gument against objection went by anticipated by the general as- Remember, this is a thesis and score one for Bill offered to maintain that part of his power, was his. But the the boards. So far, Bill’s position is null and void. Referring to Webster, laid down. I find that a thesis is a thing Once Bill objected to the advance of a proposition, but the general aspects laid Bill down for the count of ten. ‘There is also such a thing as a thesis by prosody, such as setting down the foot in beating time. Bill knows more about this than I do, the proof of the pudding being in the indigestion that follows. A thesis is a subjec we find that Bill is subject to the general aspects. ever, conjugation belongs to a clas belongs to a class of worms. pught to have a self-starter. you need one! So is Bill, only by conjugation How- of verbs, and Bill So much for the thesis. Perusing further we find that a thesis is some- thing assured and not found, although not self- evident. But the general aspects in the case compel us to forbear further ref- erence. Bill's wife is as- sured, and she’s self-evi- dent to boot. And not only that, but Bill has evi- dence in a proposition which he proposes to ad- vance, although his offer to maintain it against ar- gument may waiver before the objection. I've often wondered why I should have ex- pected that boy to return the quarter. Baleful Glare “Did you ask the new maid if she has had any ex- perience with children?" “Didn't need to. 1 could tell by the way she glowered at ‘em that she had.” ee a comicbooks.com