Judge — August 9, 1919 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Does Your Hand Itch fora a Pencil? F your haw “Over-sees Stripes” i forth gt n from every one They are marks a which etlooked sehdom Who could help but Over-sees Stripes wreduced in full 1extg. inches, this picture has beer mounted on a double framing. ~~ Send twenty-five cents cash of stamps, with yc and one of these prints will be JUDGE ART PRINT DEPARTMENT 225 Filth Avenve New York City ‘Alcs Incodes ether kindred subject. tee rateme. Hesrated $2. HOTEL BINGHAM -- Philadelphia IM THE CENTER OF EVERYTHING ARGE well lighted and comfortable rooms, Hot and colt ier in every room, Only hotel having direct * 1 00 uD. Bolshevism and the Boob By Awtucve C HE Max Wao Kxew Tuixes had finished his magazine article on Internationalism, and was staring moodily into the fireplace. Be hind him, the door opened softly and the Blithesome Boob slipped in and. shricked, “Meow!” Then he bounded aside, snickering. The Man Who Knew Things almost leaped out of his chair to the floor. He gripped the paper cutter, with which he had separated the maga- zine pages, and shot the Boob an acid look The latter scratched a match on his head. “W old man,” he chuckled, “what are you sw serious about? Reading? “No,” returned the Man Who Knew Things. * just at present I'm holding this dagger in read you come near enough,” objected the Boob. “Quit this everlasting spooting!”” “AM right; 1 forgive you,” sponded the other “For what asked the Boob. For living.” explained the Man Who Knew Things. “Say, are there such things as Bunk-shoot ers, or Bung-starters—or something?” intro duced the Boob. Why?” probed the Man Who Knew Things. Well.” went on the Boob, “this morning the coalmanasked me if I was—one of those things “You're ‘one of those things,’ all right,” de clared the other positively. “But what your friend probably referred to was Bolsheviki. “Yep, that was it.” admitted the Boob “What is it, a new temperance drink?” “It’s more like the odor of penny cigarettes I think,” said the Man Who Knew Things. “And isn’t it up in Moscow, or somewheres?” persisted the Be Brooxs ness to stab vou whe “O, come now!” cryptically re Perens + A. JUDGE “Well,” expounded the Man Who Knew Things, “its family tree is in northern Russia but many say it has Germany by the th and eventually will hatch out all Europe—like a red-headed rooster.” “Oh, so. it’s: human, glowed with understanding “Have it your own way,” other. surrendered the “And haven't we soldiers up there fighting?” Not so much fighting as protecting. You see,” ran on the Man Who Knew Things,“ Uncle Sam has stepped in really to protect. thes iliterates from their own abysmal ignorance.” “What the deuce are you getting at?" spec ulated the Boob. “In other words, we're going to establish great trading-posts at Vladivostok, Archangel ete., similar to those of the Hudson Bay Fur Traders.” ‘Trading posts?” repeated the Boob. “What Toexchange, of course,” pettishly exclaimes! the Man Who Knew Things. “Our American educators will stand behind the counters and accept red radical flags in exchange for For what?” bit the Boob. The Man Who Knew Things deliberately relit hiscigar, “ For little red schoolhouses,”” he ended with more truth than poetry in the sentiment The Boob laughed. “So you m this country is going to spend time and money teaching a lot of dirty, long-haired hobos *Figuratively, yes,” interrupted the Man Who Knew Things. That's a bookful.” The Blithesome Be got up and walked gracefully to the ¢ “Well” he declared in a tone of finality, “you can count te out.” O, we have already Knew Things nto say “assured the Man Who Tue Mecnanics or It uld never push a cat backwards “It's your own fault ff my lap and she stuck comicbooks.com then? The Booly A im