Judge — August 9, 1919 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Equine Imitation y—Did he fall, mist addre 1 the Peace f Paradise—Little Jack was returning home from his first visit to the “Father.” he asked, “do all good people go to heaven? “Yes, son.” said his father “All, every one?’ “Ven” “Well.” said Jack thoughtfully, “if there's no room left for you and me, let's go where the giraffes are!"—New Vork ng Post 200. Margaret always as her father \ day or In Wholesale Lots refers to Cecil's puppies does. as a “litter of puppies.” two ago another playmate called her in to see twin baby sisters. Margaret was thoughtiul for a moment at the dinner table that day, and then, turning re- proachfully to her mother, said: “We never have a litter of anything at our house.” —Chicago Tribune Wisdom —Professor Muirhead tells an experience of his in examining some Bir- mingham children in moral teaching. He asked them to write an essay on the threc stages of life. One bright child returned the following: “There are three stages of life. The first is when we are very young, and think of the wicked things which we shall be able to do when we are ghty (Lon older; and this is the age of innocence The second is when we are older, and are ible to do the wicked things which we thought about when we were young; and is the prime of life. The third is when we are dotty and repent the wicked things which we did when we were younger; and this is the detage.” The Bellman The Friendly Roof “Comme quoi | utilité les jours de grand cen old helmet of mine certai 2 Hopeful" You say Mr. Jagsby isan optimist?” Yes. “Why?” “He still keeps a desk.”"— Birmingham corkscrew in’ his alge Herald. Then They Shot Him—*Sparkle’s is not the sort of humor which depends on wine for its inspiratic “Oh, no; he’s noted for his dry wit.”"— Baltimore American that the is a tritle Allure aw Iway Its Lost nation’s gone dry Bro dull.” “That's so, and 1 dare say: prosperous citizens of Kokomo, Keokuk, Kankakee and other towns will be able to round out the season without making a trip to New York on ‘urgent business.” Birmingham Age-Herald Terrible Dilemma—Veust—I'm in a pickle Crimsonbeak—What's the trouble? “I'm very fond of sovsed mackerel “So am 1.” “Well, with a dry country where we going to find anything soused Yonkers Statesman A Side Line—-Veust—-What's the mat ter with your friend? He looks sad. Crimsonbeak—Ve thinks Prohibition is going to give his business a hard blow “What's his business?” “He sells cloves.”"—Birmingham Age Herald. Kaleidoscopic Chow —¥eust—This Paper says that Hungarian whisky is made variously from turnips, mixed meal, potatoes and molasses. Crimsonbeak—Well, all it needs is a small portion of meat to make itagoulash, then.—Yonkers Statesman, Potent Stuff—" Is this hard cider?” asked the prospective purchaser. Sure,” said the rural dispenser. “But how hard is it?” “Well,my hired man who never wuz right peart before, filled up on th’ stuff Uother day an’ lit out down the big road yellin’ ‘Glory halleluiah! I’m still livin’ in th’ home of th’ brave an’ th’ land of th’ free!’ ” jimme a gallon.” Herald. -Birmingham Age- comicbooks.com