Judge — August 9, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

z i Draws by Ste aut Har Digest ofthe World’s Humor — They'd Been Before Him—* Have some aigs dis momin’, Jedge?” asked the ebony waiter. “Not this morning, Sam,” replied the man of the Bench, adjusting his spec tacles preparatory to distinguishing the Can't Make Pets of Potatoes—So name of some dish on the menu from the you've decided to have a garden this year __fly-specks. instead of raising chickens.” “Ever try enny of our fresh boiled “Yes; we used to get so attached to igs, Jedge?” our fowls we couldn't eat them. One Yes, indeed, Sam; and found ‘em ee Sages I ee “What's a ‘hazard’ in Explained golf, Jim?” joing round the course with a fasci ; nating young widow, me bo! Transcript. doesn’t feel that way about potatoes and guilty.""—Yonkers Statesman. if onions.” —Boston Transcript. Handicapped—* Golf is a rich man's ei Pressing Time game.” i You Taste, Sir—It may please the “Ridiculous nonsense. I have yet to Wa i] professor who says that locusts taste like see a rich man who can do the course in 1) shrimps to know that thousands of per less than a hundred.""—Detroit Free Press. | sons will take his word for it and go no 1 { The Fair Way—* If you struck one of those golf balls and hit a man in the eye, further in the matter.—New York Sun | ” M] what would you do?” asked the man who a i High Prices and Low Diet—Doctor —It is a little difficult to diagnose your Perhaps you have been eating too was interested in first aid to the injured “Oh, Vd case, ve to play it from just where | muc I found it,” replied the enthusiastic golfer § | Patient—Impossible. This hotel is run Journal of the Awerican Medical Asso- ff on the European plan.—Hotel Gazette ciation. 2p ] >a She Cleaned It— You always have that same waitress in the restaurant, don’t you?” said the business man. “Always,” replied his friend. “She's very careful to bring me clean food.” “How do you know?” “Why, today, I saw her brushing the dust off my piece of custard pie with her Yonkers Statesman. apron. Possible Explanation—*How’s the ‘hot dog’ business?” “Not what it used to be,” answered the man wearing a white apron. “I don’t see why.” “Tdon’t see why my cause no matter how many soft drinks a man consumes in the course of a day, ii doesn’t make him careless about what he "Birmingham Age-Herald. elf, unless it’s be n om er ifard nge sig)—Hor De, keis De vil med meret, maa De skam se at skynde med After-Nw Dem lidt! Reporter—Hi! If you want to get into the evening edition, you will have to hurry up! —Klods Hans (Copenhagen). vv Mild But Not Skilful—‘I under- stand he never swears when playing golf.” “That's truce. He's very mild-man- nered.” “He must play a great game.” “TL wouldn't say that. If I played the kind of golf he does I'd be swearing all the time.”"—Detroit Free Press Grim Determination—"I want a set of golf clubs,” said the worried look- ing man “Certainly, sir,” answered the dealer in sporting goods. “By the way, I be lieve you bought a set of clubs from vs yesterday.” “So I did. I'm determined to learn how to play that infernal game if I break every golf stick in town.””—Birminghamt Age-Herald comicbooks.com