Judge, 1919-08-09 · page 11 of 36
Judge — August 9, 1919 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page contains several satirical pieces targeting early 20th-century American social attitudes: **"The Roughneck"** mocks urban pretension through a speaker who claims superiority by rejecting "society" while describing his crude wife as a "footstool stuffed with down"—satirizing working-class men who boast of rejecting refined society while treating their wives as objects. **"I Need a Million Dollars"** depicts romantic fantasy versus reality: a man dreams of romantic travel with "Marie" to exotic locations (Sahara, Naples, Nice), but she repeatedly asks the practical question: "where are you gonna get the money?"—lampooning sentimental male dreamers disconnected from financial reality. **"A Natural Question"** uses rural Arkansas dialect to satirize Northern migrants: a man gets beaten with his own hoe during a political argument, and locals find it "funny" that he was hoeing at all instead of having his wife do it—mocking both sectional tensions and gender role assumptions. The remaining brief items are simple joke formats typical of the era's humor magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Roughneck By Ricuano Better Grarnze [™ glad t a roughneck i A roughneck is the sort Who'd rather have his hair grow stiff Than ape a city sport For, say, I've paid a visit To a thing I met in town Who is his wife’s What-is-it \ footstool stuffed with down. Society’s much talked-of cream Is not for men to skim If you enjoy a mountain stream, Don't try the social swim I felt mysell a carrot Ata pink-eyed rabbits’ feast ‘Though the teeders plaved the parrot And the monkey and the beast I Need a Million By Revuenrorn Resxu HAT is the use of me dreaming abundant del- icate things that I would do with Marie, when she will not dream with me? As she sits on my knee and I cuddle her tight, her tender caresses waft me to Amalfi, Cairo, Naples, and Nice. I tell her we would go over wrapped in a hamper of love, and sit on the sand under the stars and th moon, and the soft Italian night Dol lars Drawe by Cuswrouy Yous Patient—Good Heavens! And you call yourself Dentist—My deat chap, I felt absolutely: no pain rife! Dey’s bezinnin’ to attack wid We would stand on the edge of the Sahara Desert and the silent mystery of the Kast would pump the blood into our heads and we would go mad to- gether On a soft dreamy evening, we would promenade along the Neapolitan canals in a gondola. At Nice, we would sit under a tree and watch the sun setting behind the Mediterranean. I could transform the parlor into a garden of ro- mance, if only Marie would not say: “Uh-huh; but where are vot “the money to do all tha A Natural Question of them fellers that moved in yur from the North a spell ago got into trouble yesterday,” related a citizen of the Sandy Mush, Ark., region. “He was hoeing in the field when Gabe Giggery clumb the fence and went over to howdy with him. They got to talking poli ties, one word brung on another, and directly Gabe yanked the hoe away from him, whacked him over the head with it, and like to have split his skull.” “H'm! Something powerful funny about most of them Northerners.”” commented an acquaintance. “What in thunder was he doing hoeing in the field, anyhow? Hain’t he got no wife?” ‘O Method “Why do you always look so gloomy?” “If I look cheerful people will think I’ve got a cellarful and bother me to death.” Zero “What's the matter with that chap? Crazy?” “Worse than that. He's so looney he'd coun- terfeit Russian money.” A Strenuous Job “Pop, what are the duties of a campaign incipally, my son, to count chickens be- fore they are hatched.” comicbooks.com