Judge — July 19, 1919 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Regarding Subscription and Editorial Matters SURSCRIPT Wuilding, 225 Fi son & Sona, Ltd London, E. € Annual cas! ne United States, i NY OFFICES: Main . Avenue, NEW VORK. Europe Cannoa 1 Breas Ragland, adian Pr add si ald $1.00 0 year was ys be askedyhe CHANGE IN ating oa the right hand He takes f tays a chang Brunswick Wide de. Ch ADVERBSING OFFICES Watker Marquette seattle Kot at New York as Sec Leatie-Judge 2 A. Sleicher, Pi p. Kollaver, Treasurer rinted by the Schweinter F Address all correspondence to 225 Fifth Avene JUDGE New York City ation, the wonderfu that relieves ru nt on trial. No or pads. Brooks’ Rupture Appliance Has auto. atic Air Cushions. and draws the broken parts together a sou weal chokes bok Ne salves. No lies. Durable, cheap. Sent on trial to prove it. Protected by U.S. patents. Catalog and measure blanks mailed free. Send name and address toda: Brooks Appliance Co.,409A Stat t..Marshall,Mich. SEXUAL KNOWLEDGE ILLUSTRATED By WINFIELD SCOTT HALL, MLD.,PL.D. SEX FACTS MADE PLAIN ‘What every young man and Every young woman should know What every young husband and what every paren should know” Postpaid 4s casas Mente eae AT cates cot meoneatetiad Saree AMERICAN PUB. COMPANT, 109 Winsten Bidg., Philadelphia scieutific inv new discovery ture, will be noxious spri $1.00 BURLINGTON HOTEL 431 ROOMS, 222 BATHS WASHINGTON, D. C. EUROPEAN AND AMERICAN PLANS $2.00 and Up Per Day, With Private Bath Burlington G: Connect ‘A Smart Howl for Smart Pe Metropolitan Im every respect, yet homey in Tes atmosphere HOTEL WOLCOTT Herring’s Habit By Texxett. Love Howtay ERRING knew he was smoking too much. His wife told him so morning and evening. His stenographer in- timated the same when the fumes of a strong igar made her cough. His best friend, who, fer orders, had divorced Lady Nicotine but still loved her, warned him. And Sun when he went with wifey for the weekly visit, mother-in-law ironically dubbed him a kippered Herring, and hinted that he would soon be as dead as one. However, Herring puffed serenely on his way until he began to display queer symptoms Then he went to a doctor. “Strip to the waist,” commanded Doctor Brady, who forthwith began delving in his tool-chest. He tuned up his search laid out a formidable ar of chill-inspiring paraphernalia. In his eye was gleaming, Herring fancied, the same light that shines in a hungry tabby’s when she espies a plump “Y-you aren't going to operate right away, are you?” stammered Herring. “My wife—I ‘e some business affairs: is is only an examination,” replied the He seemed sorry that that was all. Oh!” exclaimed the patient, his spirits soaring from thirty below zero to one hundred in the shade. ‘Go to it. Br bored with a sharp-nailed thumb into the pit of Herring’s stomach until the back- bone stopped progress. “That hurt?” “Ouch! Of course it does! He wanted to ask: “Do jellyfish?” [ mean—hurt much?” “Not more than sitting down on a redhot tack,” was the heavily sarcastic response. ‘There thing the matter with you,” de- clared the doctor, at the conclusion of the inquisition. “Your throat is a trifle inflamed. I'll give you a gargle.”” Herring took the gargle pre- scription because it was the premium that went with the fifteen dol- lar exam- ination fee. “ Bone- head! J know there is some- ” cried the victim you think I'm a | | | i JUDGE thing seriously wrong with me. see another doctor. Doctor Berryman’s examination was twice as long and disagreeable. He charged thirty dollars and, endeavored to give full value. “You have a badly deranged stomach,” was Berryman’s opinion, “and a floating kid- ney. Consult a surgeon about that. The stomach trouble I can cure, though it will require a year’s treatment.” No sooner were Herring's fears confirmed than he wanted them dissipated. “Doctors make mistakes,"" he reflected gloomily. “I may not be so badly off as Berry man thinks. I'll consult Orthwein. He's specialist."” Herring was put through all the old stunts by Orthwein and some new ones which Brady and Berryman were not privi- leged 10 use *Are you troubled by shortness of breath?” curtly asked Orthwein. Herring admitted the accusation, and some others. Tobacco heart, smoke and left badly damaged.” the specialist's diagnosis. His prescription included a schedule of living that called for regular hours, no smoking, and eliminated practically all of the pleasures of life. Crushed, Herring went home to break the news to his I'm going to right lung destroyed by Such was Mary,” he began, just after dinner, “I—" “He stopped and drew a long breath. As he inhaled, two buttons flew off his vest. “LT sewed those on only yesterday,’ com- plained Mrs. Herring. “I'll have to use wire, I guess. You burst them off so fast."” She caught the gaping edges and tried to draw them together. “Why, Wilson! corset! ‘Aw, it isn't,” he protested. He didn’t tell her that, in an effort to hide his increasing corpulency, he had his waist coats made inches too small, Well,” asserted Mrs. Hei ring positively, “‘it’s entirely too tight. Wear your brown suit to-morrow, I'll send th to the tailor and have a gore set in the back." Rather than Herring consented. Two weeks later his wife remarked: “ You haven't. taken your medicine for days, Wil- son. And I smelled to bacco on your breath last night. Your heart—” “—Ts all right,”” he rejoined. I don’t have any trouble getting my breath now.” Sotto voce he added: “Since I quit wearing tight vests.” 2 / at's tighter than my confess comicbooks.com