Judge — July 12, 1919 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drown by Heme as Patwen T HE N one of the brief mo- ments in the “Scandals of 1919,” when George White isn’t dancing with a series of girls, occurs the best fun of the evening The mirth-pro- Automatic Trifles By Lawton Mackaut 1919,” are two lesser devices worth noting. When Ann Pennington, in the court- room scene, takes the witness stand with a studied car lessness in the disposal of her nether limbs, the august voker that scores this laugh can derive no satisfaction therefrom nor hope for salary increase; for this cachinnation inciter is not human being, but a machine. \ machine with a mission, mind you; a machine that purports to solve the problem of overcrowd- ing in hotels. This happy contrivance, built on the principle of a pile-driver, is located over the hotel desk in such a way that a guest sign ing the register will be immediately under it As the guest inscribes his autograph the clerk presses a button that releases the knockout drop, which descends upon the patron's pate with starry impact, bifing him unconscious. He is then taken in charge by the hat check pirate and kept until a room is available. It is the most scientific slum- ber since twilight sleep. ‘ e ice g F The tapping is adjustable. If, for exam- ple, a room is going to be vacated on Thurs- day, the clerk sets the machine so that the crash register shows “Thursday”; the con- cussion which follows produces unconscious- ness for just that length of time. In this way the waiting is made so easy that the guest, completely shock-absorbed, doesn’t notice itatall. Heis too busy counting the stars in his crown. \ pretty machine and joyous to behold in operation. Its treatment of hats is s thorough that the lid-brigand would be cheated of his prey—if he didn’t bag the guest himself. Let us hope that the success of this ma- chine (which imparts a neater knockout than anything in a real life hotel except the bill) will, like the success of the NC-4, spur inventors to devise yet more won- derful contraptions. The possibilities are unlimited, and the fun mechanisms which we have had on the stage this year have been pitifully few In that same show, the “Scandals of portrait over Judge Bickel’s head cranes its neck to review the fine points of the case. And in the shimmy episode the lamp shades and garment fixtures join in with sympathetic shakings But these, though diverting for the nonce, could hardly be called scientific achievements. ‘They Jo not stir the imagination and point the Way to progress as does the sensational guest-greeter, Yet, be it ever so humble, an automatic surprise can be as amusing as a plot twist or character quirk. When Ed Wynn, in his boarding-housekeeping adventure in Time,” transformed the living room into a dining room by magically unfolding and ex- panding the parlor table into a long dining table and pulling down fruit and game pictures over the landscapes on the wall they worked inside the frames like window shades), we looked on with no less delight than that with which we marked the un- folding and unrolling of his puns. In * Double Exposure” John Cumber- land, as a surreptitious tippler, whose im- bibing ever escaped his wife’s suspicious watchfulness, had a hollow cane and a booze-filled Buddha, from which he de- rived secret comfort. His silent revelation their inner natures was more ludicrous than ever so many lines of farce dialog Sometimes it ts the miraculous properties which are not in a thing that are funny. In “The Better “Ole,” Alf's persevering faith in his pat cigar lighter that has never lighted yet, but may some day, is more glee-inspiring than if the jigger were actually a marvel; just as Harry Kelly’s famous “trick” dog which he exhibited several seasons ago was ridiculous because the benighted beast never lifted a paw. Some day comedians y be shelved. Mirth machines will do their work more efficiently, at a smaller upkeep and no overswellhead. Risus ex machina! comicbooks.com