Judge, 1919-07-12 · page 11 of 36
Judge — July 12, 1919 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Persuasive Train-Caller" This satirical poem mocks aggressive railroad advertising. A station announcer delivers an enthusiastic pitch about a train's routes and amenities, persuading the narrator to abandon his original Pittsburgh destination. However, the actual journey disappoints—the train stops at unremarkable towns and never reaches Pittsburgh anyway. The satire targets deceptive marketing tactics: a skilled salesman's enthusiasm obscures the product's actual mediocrity. The joke is that eloquent advertising can manipulate consumers into poor choices. The accompanying illustrations show the announcer's persuasive gestures and a fishing scene (likely illustrating the phrase "talking through his hat"). The page also includes brief humorous items about book collecting and theater etiquette, typical of Judge magazine's miscellaneous satirical content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Persuasive Train-Caller By Sremxtwse Giruttas MEANT to go some other place today— I think ‘twas Pittsburgh, Pennsylvaniay But while I waited, in there came a man Who cleared the throat of him and then began To say how many places one train went! I clearly saw that that announcer meant To give the crowd the notion that the train He advertised was nothing crude or plain But quite the greatest train that ever left From any railroad station, so, bereft OF my desire to go to any place Not mentioned by that man with earnest: face Th to the gate and showed my book And what he recommended so 1 took And [was disappointed! For that string Of varnished cars was not the sort of thing To rave al the way that fellow had! I call that form of advertising bad Of course it stopped at all the towns he named And maybe several more than he had claimed But none of them was much, as hamlets g I've paid far less and seen a better show Next time he shouts about some train like that Tl know he’s merely talking through his hat I'll take the train T meant to, just the same As if he'd never meddled in the game For here's the worst-it almost makes me | I never reached that Pittsburgh town at all! Reading Maketh a Full Man Fanning—Better hurry if you want to avail yourself of Dasher’s five-foot bookshelf Jerome--Why? Fanning —The volumes are non-refillable Lerrers or Ixtropuction '*Eintrvacte*’ By Reon Gonner “THE curtain has just gone down on the second act The he el; even after the intensely dramatic finale and the erashin, tympani Now someone whispers in one of the boxes. And immediately the house is And 1, despite the movement of the drama, and the impassioned speech of the heroine am cold. I sit staring vacantly to the front There is a beautiful lady to my right. I have vouchsafed no. remark during the unraveling of the plot. I have not looked at her since the curtain first rose. Vet she is quite as close to me as though we were exchanging our views of the author and his cast I can feel a psychic understanding. and I am positive that she can read my every thought I must conjure up some plausible reason For she is my wife, and she saw me press the hand of the lady in the chair at my left And she has not spoken since. Piling It On “What a pretty child.” said the deaf visitor. “I love to hear the patter of little feet.” “What you hear,” stated the mother coldly, “is a steam pile driver putting down the foundations for a building across the street.”” u comicbooks.com