Judge — July 5, 1919 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Bow Wow! By Lager. Watiaw R. Doo, O28. 4 One of our future presidents had just blown into camp with the draft and was showing the weet Young Thing over the cantonment “What are all those small tents over there?” he murmured. “They're pup tents,” he explained “Oh, isn’t it kind of the government to pro: ide such nice quarters for our poor dumb n° Skipper—Captain, how does it the men on board, the only ones who aren't in your outfit Captain—TVhe only way I can t most of my men are New first taste of the rough life in explain that, lYorkers and ¢ |the subways! New Table of Weights By ie W. Hawsow, 18.4. An American gob in England standing on the platform of a railroad station stepped on the scales to weigh himself. The scale was graduated by stones. a stone being equal to fourteen pounds. He seemed to have some difficulty in figuring it out and finally an English gentleman stepped up and said: “Can't you tell your weight. Jack?” “Sure.” replied the gob, “it’s’ about eleven stones, two bricks and a couple of boards.” Hist! By Pr, Ressent. Vax Hows, U.S. Major (to soldier that was smoking) you want the Huns to see that light? Are you a traitor? Soldier hear you Not so loud, sir, they are liable to ie une x amysnvavy f This Week's Best Ser A See Novelty ns Barr, U.S. N Naval Re: By A. Re ared to le * said Gob Number One a flashed on the scr queried the sec chi: ly; Peace Problem: By senct. Reo Ressie, Jimmie (speaking for the 23rd Squad)—Cor pril, did you tell your mother we were coming to stay with you? training cam Saving Them From Drudgery ¢ their seat By R. 4, Reswen, C.S, Naval Air Stotion, Abtron, Ohio Ex-Soldier Soldier—No. “How's that?” “So the officers will have to fall back to conductoring. Howdy,old pal, aren't you out vet? 1 job and won't have Eats and the Prod. By Senct. D. Moanma, U.S. 4 1 arrived from France yesterday anc £ GB, wired my father as follows »” “Father, Lam coming home to eat Slay the fatted calf and bring on the + vin rouge Invite the ‘chickens’ and instruct the old band to jazz as. it never jazzed before, for your prodigal son is coming home to chow “After eating hard tack for now looking forward to something to cat—and I hope I get it.” Wiyvarr thoy Just Discharged. here, you bums; reveille hasn't blown yet! 2 Corned Wooly eleven and months, | am Drown by Swit. Dow Raxnis, C1 Cleaning up on the Rhine Helen receives it Pretty Slick } By Por. Ba Coun, A. EL P., France Among the thousands who blew into Camp Pikeon one of the carly drafts was one from the Ozark Mounta’ His whiskers had evi dently flourished undisturbed for weeks. When the recruits fell in for the first time the captain spotted him and said: “Ever shave?” “Waal, yes, onct in a while,” was the reply in a genuine Ozark drawl. Ever wash?” Same comeback. “Well, in the army we shave every day The recruit’s only answer was a look of blank astonishment. “You can see I shaved today. There's some difference between the looks of my face and yours,” the captain continued j At this he of the Ozarks reached forth a specu lative hand, stroked the captain's cheek, and re- marked admiringly, ‘Waal, now you are a pretty slick young feller, aincha!”” The Irreducible Minimum By Sener. Row Reswir, C28. A. Pot. Hale (coming from mess)—You ought to see all the cake that was thrown away tonight t. Hearty—G'wan, that was a razor blade. ‘on, Marine Barracks, » to H— away from comicbooks.com