Judge — June 28, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drown by Heawas Patwen Digest ofthe World’s Humor Multum in Parvo—‘'I can’t do the family washin’, ma’am,” said the new girl “Why not, pray?” the house. “The family’s too large, ma'am.” “Why, there’s only my husband and myself in the family.” “Yes, ma’am; but look at the size of youse!""—Yonkers Statesman. asked the lady of Music—"The new cook is dropping kitchenware all over the stove,” ex- claimed Mrs. Crosslots “No, she isn’t,” answered her hus- band, after listening carefully; “she is merely playing jazz records on the phono- graph.” —IWashington Star Open to Doubt—“I'm a bit suspi cious of this new maid. Why, my dear? Didn't she bring a letter of recommendation?” “Oh, yes, a strong letter of recommen- dation, but it was written by the husband of her former mistress.” —Birmingham A ge-Herald. Maids Are so Low Down—“You simply cannot trust anybody. Everyone seems so dishonest nowadays,” declared the woman “ My maid, in whom I had the utmost confidence, left me suddenl. yesterday and took with her my beauti- tul pearl brooch.” “That is too bad,” sympathized the friend. ‘“‘Which one was it?” “That very pretty one I smuggled through | Wall Street Jour- nal, A Demoralized Fore: “When will the boss return?"’ “How do you oul? “That's casy. Four bookkeepers are matching pennies, two stenographers are sharing a box of chocolates and discuss- ing Summer togs and you have your feet propped on your desk.” —Birmingham I ge-Herald. know the boss New System—"How do you manage to keep your cook so long,” asked Mrs. Naybor. “Oh, that’s enough,” replied Mrs. Sububs, “I discharge her every Sat- urday and she stays just for spite.”— Knovville Journal and Tribune easy Arms and the Man Je lu gardien, extce un dicu hindou ow suis-je as Mr. Tipple—Wassat?. Six arms? Say guard, is that Hindoo idol quce —Le Pile-Méle (Paris) 7 going to Stamford, Conn., to visit her daughter, and took her seat in the railway car for the first time in her life. During the ride the car in which she was seated was thrown down an embankment and demolished. Crawling out from beneath the debris he spied a man in a sitting position, his legs pinioned. “Is this Stamford?” asked The man was from Boston. He was in considerable pain, but he didn't lose sight of the fact that he was a Bostonian. He said: “No; this is a catastrophe.” “Oh!” exclaimed the lad “Then I hadn’t oughter got off here.”—Chicago News. she anxiously The Only Thing Left want a dower berth on the midnight train to New York.” “No more lowers,” said the clerk. “Then Vl take an upper.” ‘0 more uppers.”” Well, do what you can for me “I'm doing it now. AI I can do is to sympathize with you.” — Washington Star. Railing at Him—‘Hey, wotcher do- ing? Stealing a ride?” Ain't the railroads being run by the government?” demanded the tramp. “Yes.” “Then st litical crime, go in this kentry.”” ing a ride is merely a po- and political crimes don’t Kansas City Journal. comicbooks.com