Judge — June 21, 1919 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Irrepressible, I: Resuscitated 4 - Irresponsible Hands Down | 4 \ man from Nebraska went into a saloon in How did Johnny hurt himself?” 4 Kansas City and wrote on a piece of paper, “He was playing at ‘who could lean out of i \ glass of whiskey, please.” The bartender the window furthest’ and he won.” 4 did as he was bid and gave the man a drink and Nebraska Aegean / 1 titer he was finished with this one he wrote for ! another and still another. Then he wrote, Forbidden Ground . “How much do I owe you?” The bartender eUttorney. to niece of a late millionaire—Well said that was all right because he didn’t charge Miss Fletcher, you have a rather large legacy in deaf and dumb men. The customer spoke “Sir, how dare you?"—Corneil Widow 7 p. “H—, I'm not deaf and dumb, [am from ienil er Nebraska and was so dey t couldn't talk." Aspiration a Vebraska Ateged -Oh! I'm in the midst of misfortune . My ambition is humble « lor :t couple of zeroes. ‘They buried me deep down in Pro And then, when I craved some diversion The Proteases’ Love:story The dance-halls and liquor must go. i Professor's Wife (reading the paper over his Oh! me for the life of a Pagan, shoulder) —"* One Wife Too Many ”—I suppose Who for sparkling red wine need not long he was a bigamist Who thinks three or four wives is quite proper Uhsent-minded Prof.—Not necessarily, my And is taught that nothing is wrong. | dear an State Froth Tn the words of old Omar, the happy He lives for Wine, Woman, and Song Vale Record ‘The Bathroom Athlete hay That Joyous moment when o Do you take exercise after your bath in ff | the morning?” asked Perkins. if Jerkins~ Yes; 1 generally step on the soy The Nerviest Folks in the World as T get out.—Vebraska Ategwun The guy who borrows your dress suit to tale your girl to a dance. The professor who prescribes his own text book for use in the course. The section instructor who borrows your pencil to mark your paper E The man who asks his barber for a doller } loan in order to buy a safety razor.—Harcard Lampoon One Relief Was your brother, the captain, much upset at the loss of his leg?” ( *He wrote that he was glad to be rid of that darned corn.” —Vale Record. i Phantom Ships “Her cheeks,” he sai Upon a fragrant field Her ruby lips are magic ships That precious treasure yield.” ‘are roses red But when to kiss the little miss The blockhead took a notion, | Her cheeks and lips were painted ships } Upon a painted ocean MORAL f He kissed i * So you asked for hter, did you? How ? ys ght she was very efficient ] 1 le kissed her anyway dd you come out?” “Yeah, she was. That's the re she was 4 — Columbia Jester, Through the window ‘alifornia Pelican. fired."—Kansas Sour Orel. , 8 comicbooks.com