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Judge, 1919-06-14 · page 32 of 36

Judge — June 14, 1919 — page 32: what you’re looking at

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Judge — June 14, 1919 — page 32: Judge, 1919-06-14

What you’re looking at

This page from Judge magazine contains satirical commentary on office life and social behavior circa early 1900s. **"Johnny Officeworm Never Watches the Clock"** mocks the disconnect between working-class punctuality and management hypocrisy. Bill the bookkeeper arrives precisely at 9:30 a.m., while his boss leaves at 11:03 a.m. claiming urgent business at the Astor (a luxury hotel), yet expects employees to work diligently. The humor lies in exposing how office hierarchy operates: junior staff face scrutiny for minor infractions while executives abandon work with impunity. **"The Gay Dog"** satirizes a man juggling multiple romantic interests—dining with different women (Genevieve, Eve, Irene, Delphine) while maintaining a wife at home. The joke critiques infidelity and the ease with which privileged men conduct affairs, contrasted darkly with his "breakfast grouch" with his actual spouse. The page also contains period health advertisements for dubious products (the "Wonder" health belt, Cuticura soap), typical of Judge's advertising revenue model.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘Does Your Hand Itch for a Pencil? A wing and develop anitles for you ta Up-to-Date Grocers, Drug- gists and Dealers Gov't rulings Comes to you with all the Goodness and Depen- dability that have made and the Evans products pre-eminent for 133 ars: A nour- ishing and delicious non-intoxicating beverage: ©. H. EVANS & SONS atab. 1785 HUDSON, WN. Y. mended for obesity, lumbago, constipation, spinal deformities, floating kidney and all weaknesses ia the abdominal region. THE ‘“‘WONDER” HEALTH BELT wrmour Releases the tension on the internal liga nents = fesume thelr proper positions aad pers {crea their Yunctions in @ normal, bealth- ful way. | Easy to adjust—a great com: fort to the wearer. For mea, womens and children Sead for the belt on Five Oays’ Free T: tt ‘atiat. ctory send us $2.50." Hf oot, reture belt. Give Bormal walt measure when ordering. The Weil Health Belt Co., ..Wtistea, Core. Drugxists: Write for propo ition ond full particulars Clear Your Skin With Cuticura’ All druggists: Soap Ointment 25 & $0, Tal cum 23. Sample’ each free of “Cuticura, Johnny Officeworm Never Watches the Clock s knows exa ts—Here’s hor By Fraxw H. Wirutasts W!! SN Bill the bookkeeper looks at the work piling up on his desk, runs his fingers through his thin hair, sighs and says: “It looks like a busy day”—9: 30 a. m When Tessie Speed, the boss’s secretary, breezes into the office three minutes ahead of the boss— 9:48 a. m. When the boss “‘calls’’ Jim, the office boy, for failing to get fresh blotters for the desk—1o: When the boss comes from his private office into the accounting department, stretches, — yawns looks at his watch and remarks “If any one wants me I'll be over at the Astor for lunch.” 11:03 a. m. When entire office force heaves But h time 2a.m. McKee ‘ : Prohibitionist— Well, sir, | think it was rather good of us to a sigh of relief and begins to take allow this monument to be erected. things more Iy—1r:05 a.m. Old Toper—Oh, sure, but it ought to be a fountain. When Bill, the bookkeeper, takes off his office coat, puts on his street coat | in the inverse order of their importance—1: 15 and, after absentmindedly trying to bite off to2:15p.m the end of his penholder and smoke it, starts When boss returns after lunch—2: 45 p. m. out to lunch—1r :45 a. m. When boss leaves for the day after declaring When rest of office force in inverse ratio to | that he is working too hard—3: 30 p. m. their importance in the office go out to lunch— When Bill the bookkeeper’s wife calls up 11:47 am, to 12:15 p. m. to tell what to bring with him on the 5:47 When office force strolls back from lunch train to the suburbs—4: 10 p. m. When Jim, the office boy, skips away via the freight clevator— 4:35 p.m. When office force cleans up desks, begins washing hands, etc., in preparation for quitting for the day—4 245 p.m. When total office force makes a grand dive for descending ele- vators—5:00 p. m. exactly. When last straggler is out of office—s :02 p. m. exactly. The Gay Dog E often dines with Genevieve. (She’s beautiful at night!) At Sherry’s he takes tea with Eve (A cunning little mite). He sometimes lunches with Irene (She's his stenographer). ——He motor rides with young Del- phine (There’s lots of style to her) He takes V ja to the play— (A literary maid). BO/P77 Ncloves to skate with dashi ‘3 * (She's strong and un: So golden moments pas: ~ — He leads a merry life!) He takes his breakfast grouch with Drawn By Corsten I. Ganoe me! Tue Starsoarn Watcu (That’s ‘cause I am his wife.) Fay. (You see 32 comicbooks.com By Pee, The The The The The The The HO’ The The The The The The The HO’ The The The Draw Farn